last night dissatisfaction decided to make itself right at home in my head... many explanations possible... but really, there's no good reason why i shouldn't be the happiest person in the world!!! strangest paradox, really, isn't it...
i wonder what it's got to do with... ;p trying to grasp the concept of how wide, how deep, how long, how high, how great God's love is for me... - if only i could understand that, then everything would become clear... what puzzles me, is why i can be so lucky, when i'm the most undeserving person in the world?!? there's so much wrong with me, yet God can love me jus the way i am?!? that there's nothing i can do for God that he can't already do himself, it's all one way traffic - i can't do anything but thank him!!! yet, there's the spectre, the shadow of the realisation that i'm completely powerless, and the notion that, if i was to get what i deserve, everything would be taken away from me... nothing would be left, i probably wouldn't deserve to be alive, i'm such a rotten person...
so the shadow casts itself in the form of fear, of inferiority complex, and of foreboding... the sun begins to set, and the shadow extends itself over the horizon, looming and beginning to engulf the mountains of hope i had before... then the mountains themselves start to cast their shadows too... of what could have been, the question begging to be asked, "if only"!!! (if only, what?!? - well anywayz...) similarly, the shadows allow more irregularities spring up on the surface, irregularities of sin... pits and chasms, deep and gaping ever wider, as the fragile earth shakes and its foundation splits open...
the sun, we should never allow to set on us... the sun is overpowering, the sun is like God's love... we need only turn to face it and bask in its glory, and it illuminates everything such that we can see things in perspective... the earth may break and shatter, but it will reform in time... the sun restores our soul... out from the cracks, plants grow under the sun's influence to fill the gaps and bring stability once again to the surface... the sun makes everything appear beautiful, it nourishes, it nurtures, it encourages, it gives us the energy to go on, yet remain so blissful in peace, for it (God's love) is eternal ;p
i shall endeavour to never turn away from it ever again... see things in perspective, indeed... whatever shadows are cast, i shan't dwell in the shade... but bask in the restorative power of God... and never has the sun shone so brightly as through Jesus Christ!!!
"Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which
you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have
heard. Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and you,
because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining." - 1
John 2:7-8
2 comments:
hey dave... long time no posting... but believe me all this time i hav been reading and digesting ur thoughts. ^^ Thoughtful as usual. But I guess we can always see it this way... before we know God we r living in a room of darkness.. when we accepted him He opens a window and sends a ray of light through. It may be small... but as long as there is a ray... we are NO LONGER in darkness. ^^ And as we follow Him closer and closer.. He will reveal more light.. but at any time... the light He shines on us.. is always sufficient for us to take our steps. ^0^
Yeah, it's hard to fully comprehend the depth of God's love for us... but because of his love and the confidence of our salvation, we need not fear his power being unleashed upon us in a horrible way!
Take earthly parents as an example - sure, they don't have anything like the power of God. But they still have power to make your life miserable, not give you food, throw you out of the house with no money, heck, even stab you at night when you're sleeping! But it's utterly ridiculous (except in the most extreme of cases) that parents would do such things! Why? Because everyone knows that parents love their children very very much! And children, in turn, don't go around being fearful that their parents would do such things to them, because they can be confident of their love.
But how much more perfect and awesome is God's love compared to earthly parents! And how much more confident can we be that he will continue to be loving and keep all his promises! Therefore, if we do not fear that our earthly parents will stab us during our sleep for wrongs committed against them, how much less ought we to fear that God will suddenly stop blessing us because we're undeserving?!?
=) Sally
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