Long time, no post! It's been such a busy time, travelling, seeing sights, packing, sleeping, eating. Just no time for blogging! But this is taking a crazy moment out from the busy-ness, at 12am, first day in Montreal, to write a little word about what we've been doing.
Our itinerary so far, just to sum up - New York for a week, Toronto for 4 days, Montreal.
The mix of places has been quite interesting, and varied. New York is the busy engine town, everyone set about their business, very efficient, but at the same time, very impersonal in its nature. If I had to sum up New York in one word, it'd be HUGE! The largest city so far, it stretches enormously north, south, east, west, and up. Put the tallest building in Melbourne among the buildings of New York, and it'd be inconspicuous. That said, there's so much to see, it's impossible to expect to do New York to any degree of detail in a week. Most of our time was spent at the major attractions, such as the Statue of Liberty, World Trade Centre (its remains, rather, ground zero), Empire State Building, Central Park, Metropolitan Museum of Art, and the American Museum of Natural History. If the USA ever had a reputation of wanting everything big, well, they deserve it.
Toronto is far more Melbourne-like, at least where it comes to scale, and also the friendliness of the people. Everyone is so approachable, willing to help, and the atmosphere far more relaxed. There's just so much less to be concerned about, and you feel really quite safe. Niagara Falls is just a short drive away (though the time might vary depending on weather conditions). When we got there, the weather wasn't too bad, just very misty and cold. But after lunch, a step outside left us all soaked because of the hostile rain! We decided to see the falls from behind them, from within a network of tunnels. It's quite scary, the thundering sound is overwhelming. We're left with a sense of wonderment and awe, although this might've been dampened by the sheer hostility of the cold and mist, which left the trees of the nearby forest snap frozen (and that might've been us too, if we'd stayed outside much longer). Went also to Inniskillin Winery - ice wine is something to taste, if you've never done so before! Just be prepared for the assault of sugar upon sugar, but the fruits are so nicely mixed, and a tiny amount satisfies the tongue after dessert.
Which leads me briefly to Montreal, which strikes me as a confusing mishmash of French and English. I don't know whether to make myself at home with English (perhaps with a slightly americanised accent), or to try my (very appalling) French. Alternatively, I'll let Sal do the talking, she seems to cope pretty well in French anyhow, although her French was described by the cab driver as more French than the locals. Alas, after the hot steamy bedroom (due to uncontrollable heating vents) in Toronto, it's a welcome change to have a comfy, albeit very cosy, room here. Will try out the bed tonight!
Have to comment on the weather. Ice, ice, ice. It's been following us around. First day in New York was the first day of snow they had there. Then we had the worst snowstorm Toronto has had so far this season. Niagara Falls had the most frigid, icy weather that our tour guide has yet seen in his career. If the trend continues, then predict ice for Melbourne in January when I land back!
Anyhow, lastly, but not least, have to say a big thanx to Sal's relatives in New York, and Stef in Toronto, for showing us around their respective cities. And of course, to God, through whom all things are possible. And He gives us blessings beyond belief. I pray that all of you are also enjoying a great festive season, and best wishes for our Lord's birthday, and for the New Year, if I don't write by then!
Cheers & God bless!
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Sunday, November 20, 2005
End of six years...
The conclusion of my six years of medical training has arrived at last! In a couple of weeks, I'm going to be officially a doctor, scary as that may seem! Dr me, hmmm, at least we've been fairly well trained to deal with the situations we'll get into next year, however daunting they may seem. But it's still with some sense of anticipation and trepidation that I'll be stepping into the hospital environment next year alongside many others, with a newfound sense of responsibility, the guise of studenthood shed, and the mantle of great expectations placed firmly on our shoulders.
Anyhow, a couple more weeks till summer! And yet so busy, organising loads of things. Including something that'll take me away from the warmth of summer and plunge me into the icy depths of the coldest winter I'll have experienced. Yes, Canada beckons, complete with ice capped mountains and snow showers, and a white Christmas!
Don't really have any creative motivation right now. And have a couple of interviews tomorrow, and need to do research. Hopefully will write a longer, more interesting update sometime later ;p God bless!
Anyhow, a couple more weeks till summer! And yet so busy, organising loads of things. Including something that'll take me away from the warmth of summer and plunge me into the icy depths of the coldest winter I'll have experienced. Yes, Canada beckons, complete with ice capped mountains and snow showers, and a white Christmas!
Don't really have any creative motivation right now. And have a couple of interviews tomorrow, and need to do research. Hopefully will write a longer, more interesting update sometime later ;p God bless!
Sunday, November 06, 2005
One week to go...
Last week of undergraduate medicine ahead now! So I'll embark on another week of general practice in Mornington, a term that's truly served to rekindle my optimism about medicine as a career, and reopening general practice as a long term option. I really have nothing to complain about in my life, in fact am feeling so blessed by God about almost everything - so those of you who only really enjoy reading blogs filled with anguish, complaint and confusion, there's not much in this one for you!
Oh, I do have one gripe, hay-fever. It's getting me. My nose is like a river, dammed back only by antihistamines, and an endless chain of tissues. Sniff, sniff.
In a week and a half, I'll have pretty much finished med! It still hasn't fully struck me that I'll be doing this for the rest of my life. My head's undergoing a constant reshuffling, helping me adapt to this mindset, and I'll yet have to keep getting used to the responsibility of a doctor, looking after the lives of patients. And the whole idea that I'll be out of home, earning money - it's something I don't yet know how to imagine well, but I know and pray that God will look after me in this transition.
Other events-wise, will be going to Canada with Sal next month! Really looking forward to it, the cold winter, the long plane flights - but jus the freedom of a time to relax, feeling like there's no great hurriedness to deal with "right now!", and new and interesting places to explore. Toronto, Ottawa, Montréal, Québec City, and hopefully get to see some of the national parks - can't wait! God's creation looks wonderful in photos, but doubly amazing when experienced fully. It'll also be a really good opportunity for Sal & I to focus wholly on one another, and on the amazing graces given us by God.
Anywayz, enough abt me - rejoice in the Lord, who rains down blessings from heaven! He who created us knows us so well, He sets everything in place, down to the smallest detail. Because of this, we should have all trust in the love of our God, knowing that He is in control, and that He never forgets a single one of us. And all thanks to Jesus Christ, through whom we are able to understand and relate to our God as He wills, because of His perfect sacrifice!
Oh, I do have one gripe, hay-fever. It's getting me. My nose is like a river, dammed back only by antihistamines, and an endless chain of tissues. Sniff, sniff.
In a week and a half, I'll have pretty much finished med! It still hasn't fully struck me that I'll be doing this for the rest of my life. My head's undergoing a constant reshuffling, helping me adapt to this mindset, and I'll yet have to keep getting used to the responsibility of a doctor, looking after the lives of patients. And the whole idea that I'll be out of home, earning money - it's something I don't yet know how to imagine well, but I know and pray that God will look after me in this transition.
Other events-wise, will be going to Canada with Sal next month! Really looking forward to it, the cold winter, the long plane flights - but jus the freedom of a time to relax, feeling like there's no great hurriedness to deal with "right now!", and new and interesting places to explore. Toronto, Ottawa, Montréal, Québec City, and hopefully get to see some of the national parks - can't wait! God's creation looks wonderful in photos, but doubly amazing when experienced fully. It'll also be a really good opportunity for Sal & I to focus wholly on one another, and on the amazing graces given us by God.
Anywayz, enough abt me - rejoice in the Lord, who rains down blessings from heaven! He who created us knows us so well, He sets everything in place, down to the smallest detail. Because of this, we should have all trust in the love of our God, knowing that He is in control, and that He never forgets a single one of us. And all thanks to Jesus Christ, through whom we are able to understand and relate to our God as He wills, because of His perfect sacrifice!
Psalm 8
O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
above the heavens.
From the lips of children and infants
you have ordained praise
because of your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.
When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.
You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:
all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,
the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.
O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
Saturday, October 15, 2005
An (almost) country practice...
As many of you know, I've just started my general practice rotation, which will be my final rotation as a medical student - if God wills, I'll be having exams after that and graduating at the end of this year! This is just a few short paragraphs I wrote about my first week at the practice, which I hope you find interesting!
I'm doing my rotation down in Mornington, about 50km from the city, a really beautiful area by the beach! The bright sunshine and the lazy pace of this beachside community are both reflected in the sunny, relaxed disposition of the staff at the clinic. Such a refreshing change from the early starts and rush of the city hospitals!
At this clinic, a stone's throw from the neighbouring Bays Hospital, there are six senior GPs and two registrars, four nurses, many friendly faces at the front desk, and many others behind the scenes. They service predominantly an elderly population, mostly of upper class, who come in with all sorts of complaints from the common ear niggle to frustratingly difficult-to-treat generalised pains. I recall a patient, thirty-something male, all neatly outfitted in a business suit, looking like he dropped in on his way to work. He complained of an occasional twinge in the ear. Cursory examination found no source of inflammation or focal lesion, and it was hardly distressing for him. The GP prescribed some drops for the ear, but other than that, the consultation was over within two minutes or so. The patient continued on his way to work. In stark contrast, another patient was a most interesting fifty-something man who looked more like eighty. He had so many medications, and a list of past history that filled the page, the sort of patient you would expect would require, at minimum, low level care. With profound weakness in all four limbs due to severe injury and deformity of his cervical spine, secondary to lesions of neurofibromatosis and steroid-induced osteoporosis (he also had a history of Crohn's disease), it was a wonder he could maintain any degree of independent mobility. But with his scooter and stick, he made his way around Mornington, and gets by with assistance from his daughter at home. The variety certainly keeps one guessing and interested in the job, from both the medical and psychosocial perspectives.
The nurses run the theatre, a small, three-bed room, reminiscent of a rural emergency department. Here, they and the doctors do (and provide me with opportunities to see and do) minor procedures, dressings, triage assessments, administration of injections (e.g. intramuscular, intra-articular) including immunisations, nebulisers and so on. Sometimes, I am allocated the third bed (which is in the room next door) to see patients by myself, which is a helpful exercise. This is also the place to catch up with the up-to-the-minute news of what transpires in the lives of each of the practitioners and their families! One of the doctors' rabbits had a baptism of fire - brought home from the shop, that night it escaped its pen and was mauled by the dogs. Poor rabbit, still battling to survive several days on. Not even the new medical student is exempt from ending up in the gossip channels. Most of them knew my name before I saw them, and rapidly found out about me having been to the same school as many of their children, my upcoming concerts, about my relationship, and about my planned trip to Canada! I think I should be careful what I let out of the bag.
The practice does mostly private billing, but bulk bills certain patients. It is good to see the doctors doing what they can to ensure that patients pay no more than they should, especially with regard to drugs and so on. I've learnt a lot simply through observing their discussions with patients about drug choice. It's easy to forget the financial burden of pharmaceuticals in the clinical setting sometimes.
Women's health day (Tuesday) was difficult for me, as a male medical student, with most of the women opting that I be excluded from their consultation. It's fair enough, of course. I don't plan on being an obstetrician or gynaecologist anyhow, but one of the female doctors with a special interest in women's health was kind enough to give myself and the registrars a tutorial ensuring that our pap smear technique is still competent.
One of the more surprising, but heartwarming, aspects of the practice was home visits (in addition to district nursing). My GP supervisor takes two or three half-days each week to drive around (in his huge four-wheel-drive, but it's necessary for getting around some bits of the region) and call on patients in their houses. He has some regulars, and some who need more intense follow-up at home after a visit to the hospital, or after a disease flare. Patients with mobility problems are given priority. Most home visits are unremarkable medically, mostly a brief "how are things going?", systems review, and filling prescriptions. But when I see these people in their natural habitat, I am provided with a wealth of information beyond what I would get in a consulting room. The fact that their house looks tidy, and doesn't smell, means they are really keeping quite well. And I get to see the luxury of many of the Mornington residents!
Enough babble from me. I never really gave GP much of a thought before. But this rotation, it's really growing on me. It has, in many ways, restored in me a faith in medicine (and the medical system) by showing me a more human side of the profession. I am refreshed to see doctors really connecting with and caring for their patients, and enjoying it too. I am thoroughly looking forward to the remainder of these five weeks!
I'm doing my rotation down in Mornington, about 50km from the city, a really beautiful area by the beach! The bright sunshine and the lazy pace of this beachside community are both reflected in the sunny, relaxed disposition of the staff at the clinic. Such a refreshing change from the early starts and rush of the city hospitals!
At this clinic, a stone's throw from the neighbouring Bays Hospital, there are six senior GPs and two registrars, four nurses, many friendly faces at the front desk, and many others behind the scenes. They service predominantly an elderly population, mostly of upper class, who come in with all sorts of complaints from the common ear niggle to frustratingly difficult-to-treat generalised pains. I recall a patient, thirty-something male, all neatly outfitted in a business suit, looking like he dropped in on his way to work. He complained of an occasional twinge in the ear. Cursory examination found no source of inflammation or focal lesion, and it was hardly distressing for him. The GP prescribed some drops for the ear, but other than that, the consultation was over within two minutes or so. The patient continued on his way to work. In stark contrast, another patient was a most interesting fifty-something man who looked more like eighty. He had so many medications, and a list of past history that filled the page, the sort of patient you would expect would require, at minimum, low level care. With profound weakness in all four limbs due to severe injury and deformity of his cervical spine, secondary to lesions of neurofibromatosis and steroid-induced osteoporosis (he also had a history of Crohn's disease), it was a wonder he could maintain any degree of independent mobility. But with his scooter and stick, he made his way around Mornington, and gets by with assistance from his daughter at home. The variety certainly keeps one guessing and interested in the job, from both the medical and psychosocial perspectives.
The nurses run the theatre, a small, three-bed room, reminiscent of a rural emergency department. Here, they and the doctors do (and provide me with opportunities to see and do) minor procedures, dressings, triage assessments, administration of injections (e.g. intramuscular, intra-articular) including immunisations, nebulisers and so on. Sometimes, I am allocated the third bed (which is in the room next door) to see patients by myself, which is a helpful exercise. This is also the place to catch up with the up-to-the-minute news of what transpires in the lives of each of the practitioners and their families! One of the doctors' rabbits had a baptism of fire - brought home from the shop, that night it escaped its pen and was mauled by the dogs. Poor rabbit, still battling to survive several days on. Not even the new medical student is exempt from ending up in the gossip channels. Most of them knew my name before I saw them, and rapidly found out about me having been to the same school as many of their children, my upcoming concerts, about my relationship, and about my planned trip to Canada! I think I should be careful what I let out of the bag.
The practice does mostly private billing, but bulk bills certain patients. It is good to see the doctors doing what they can to ensure that patients pay no more than they should, especially with regard to drugs and so on. I've learnt a lot simply through observing their discussions with patients about drug choice. It's easy to forget the financial burden of pharmaceuticals in the clinical setting sometimes.
Women's health day (Tuesday) was difficult for me, as a male medical student, with most of the women opting that I be excluded from their consultation. It's fair enough, of course. I don't plan on being an obstetrician or gynaecologist anyhow, but one of the female doctors with a special interest in women's health was kind enough to give myself and the registrars a tutorial ensuring that our pap smear technique is still competent.
One of the more surprising, but heartwarming, aspects of the practice was home visits (in addition to district nursing). My GP supervisor takes two or three half-days each week to drive around (in his huge four-wheel-drive, but it's necessary for getting around some bits of the region) and call on patients in their houses. He has some regulars, and some who need more intense follow-up at home after a visit to the hospital, or after a disease flare. Patients with mobility problems are given priority. Most home visits are unremarkable medically, mostly a brief "how are things going?", systems review, and filling prescriptions. But when I see these people in their natural habitat, I am provided with a wealth of information beyond what I would get in a consulting room. The fact that their house looks tidy, and doesn't smell, means they are really keeping quite well. And I get to see the luxury of many of the Mornington residents!
Enough babble from me. I never really gave GP much of a thought before. But this rotation, it's really growing on me. It has, in many ways, restored in me a faith in medicine (and the medical system) by showing me a more human side of the profession. I am refreshed to see doctors really connecting with and caring for their patients, and enjoying it too. I am thoroughly looking forward to the remainder of these five weeks!
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Imitation of Christ
I discovered this unassuming little book in my local library about a week ago, marked with the appealing and familiar title "The Imitation of Christ", by the saint Thomas à Kempis (1380-1471). So I began reading. What a consuming work! What devotion a man can have to God! Its truth written so simply, yet so passionately, it draws one into intimate understanding of the relationship the author has with Christ, and his amazing joy and longing for the Kingdom of God.
There is one bit I'd like to share, on the nature of God's transforming love.
Thanks and praise to our God, who is love! I found a site at which can be found the whole book, for anyone who wants to read bits online.
God bless!
There is one bit I'd like to share, on the nature of God's transforming love.
From "The Imitation of Christ" - Book 3 On Inward Consolation, Chapter 5 On the Wonderful Effect of Divine Love
Love is a mighty power, a great and complete good; Love alone lightens every burden, and makes the rough places smooth. It bears every hardship as though it were nothing, and renders all bitterness sweet and acceptable. The love of Jesus is noble, and inspires us to great deeds; it moves us always to desire perfection. Love aspires to high things, and is held back by nothing base. Love longs to be free, a stranger to every worldly desire, lest its inner vision become dimmed, and lest worldly self-interest hinder it or ill-fortune cast it down. Nothing is sweeter than love, nothing stronger, nothing higher, nothing wider, nothing more pleasant, nothing fuller or better in heaven or earth; for love is born of God (1 John 4:7), and can rest only in God, above all created things.
Love flies, runs, and leaps for joy; it is free and unrestrained. Love gives all for all, resting in One who is highest above all things, from whom every good flows and proceeds. Love does not regard the gifts, but turns to the Giver of all good gifts. Love knows no limits, but ardently transcends all bounds. Love feels no burden, takes no account of toil, attempts things beyond its strength; love sees nothing as impossible, for it feels able to achieve all things. Love therefore does great things; it is strange and effective; while he who lacks love faints and fails.
Love is watchful, and while resting, never sleeps; weary, it is never exhausted; imprisoned, it is never in bonds; alarmed, it is never afraid; like a living flame and a burning torch, it surges upward and surely surmounts every obstacle. Whoever loves God knows well the sound of His voice. A loud cry in the ears of God is that burning love of the soul which exclaims, "My God and my love, You are all mine, and I am yours."
Thanks and praise to our God, who is love! I found a site at which can be found the whole book, for anyone who wants to read bits online.
God bless!
Monday, October 03, 2005
Sickness...
I've caught the bug that's going around, so it seems. Fevers, sweats, cough and yucky mouth, muscle aches and pains, lethargy and weakness. It really only set in today, but I'm feeling a fair bit better through taking some rest and paracetamol. At the moment I'm taking a break from sleeping. ;p
Yay, Sally's back in Melbourne, since about a week and a half ago! It's been a while since last blog. I wonder why my motivation for blogging has dried up over time? I don't seem to be blogging anywhere near as frequently as I used to. But then again, I didn't always use to have such early starts, and I didn't use to have my timesink online game (utopia), so I probably used to have much more time to write!
Anyhow, utopia-wise, the current age is ending, so not spending as much time on it as I did a few weeks ago. We've just come out of hostile relations with another kingdom, and our province was absolutely shafted! We were being singled out as a target, and I made some silly errors of judgment that didn't help. I suppose, given the new ceasefire, we can now concentrate our efforts on destroying the dragon that ravages our kingdom. But for how long? I suppose it'll be over soon. And then we can begin a fresh start. Hopefully next age, we'll be controlling separate provinces within the same kingdom, which will be good for cooperation!
Real-life-wise, am doing my final week of surgical block! I'm with the trauma team, which means I see patients all the time who are not that different to myself (young, fit, healthy, no medical issues), and they come in with some horrific injuries from car and motorcycle accidents. It's a stark reminder just how vulnerable we are, and that anything can happen at any time! People mostly think of broken bones with trauma, but blunt injury to the abdomen caused by deceleration against an improperly worn seatbelt was what led to probably the most striking images I saw in operating theatre. The patient had been complaining of increasing abdominal pain, about a day after the accident. The day before, he'd had an arm fracture reduced and fixed, but the doctors became concerned about peritonitis with the abdominal x-ray showing subdiaphragmatic free gas. So he was taken to theatre for an exploratory laparotomy, and as soon as they opened the belly, there was the most dramatic rush of fluid and bubbles spilling out of the incision, and the nasogastric tube drew back a flood of foul black fluid, decompressing the stomach. Food seems to be a favourite for medical analogies - it was like a boiling pot under high pressure, and suddenly removing the lid, sending bubbles and liquid all over the kitchen floor. Today though, I arranged this guy's discharge from hospital, and he's probably now at home back to most of his daily routine, apart from just a bit of abdominal and arm soreness!
Anyhow, I'll probably be off now. Should get back to sleeping - I hope to be back to full functioning myself quickly. ;p Well, I'll sleep soonish. And sleep in tomorrow. Hopefully, armed with paracetamol, will be back to normal within a few days! Will leave with this passage from Philippians 4, on which we had a sermon on Sunday. When we feel snowed under with many tasks and worries, whether they be within or out of our control, and our troubles seem insurmountable, remember to cast all your anxieties upon Jesus Christ our Saviour, in whom we trust. God bless!
Yay, Sally's back in Melbourne, since about a week and a half ago! It's been a while since last blog. I wonder why my motivation for blogging has dried up over time? I don't seem to be blogging anywhere near as frequently as I used to. But then again, I didn't always use to have such early starts, and I didn't use to have my timesink online game (utopia), so I probably used to have much more time to write!
Anyhow, utopia-wise, the current age is ending, so not spending as much time on it as I did a few weeks ago. We've just come out of hostile relations with another kingdom, and our province was absolutely shafted! We were being singled out as a target, and I made some silly errors of judgment that didn't help. I suppose, given the new ceasefire, we can now concentrate our efforts on destroying the dragon that ravages our kingdom. But for how long? I suppose it'll be over soon. And then we can begin a fresh start. Hopefully next age, we'll be controlling separate provinces within the same kingdom, which will be good for cooperation!
Real-life-wise, am doing my final week of surgical block! I'm with the trauma team, which means I see patients all the time who are not that different to myself (young, fit, healthy, no medical issues), and they come in with some horrific injuries from car and motorcycle accidents. It's a stark reminder just how vulnerable we are, and that anything can happen at any time! People mostly think of broken bones with trauma, but blunt injury to the abdomen caused by deceleration against an improperly worn seatbelt was what led to probably the most striking images I saw in operating theatre. The patient had been complaining of increasing abdominal pain, about a day after the accident. The day before, he'd had an arm fracture reduced and fixed, but the doctors became concerned about peritonitis with the abdominal x-ray showing subdiaphragmatic free gas. So he was taken to theatre for an exploratory laparotomy, and as soon as they opened the belly, there was the most dramatic rush of fluid and bubbles spilling out of the incision, and the nasogastric tube drew back a flood of foul black fluid, decompressing the stomach. Food seems to be a favourite for medical analogies - it was like a boiling pot under high pressure, and suddenly removing the lid, sending bubbles and liquid all over the kitchen floor. Today though, I arranged this guy's discharge from hospital, and he's probably now at home back to most of his daily routine, apart from just a bit of abdominal and arm soreness!
Anyhow, I'll probably be off now. Should get back to sleeping - I hope to be back to full functioning myself quickly. ;p Well, I'll sleep soonish. And sleep in tomorrow. Hopefully, armed with paracetamol, will be back to normal within a few days! Will leave with this passage from Philippians 4, on which we had a sermon on Sunday. When we feel snowed under with many tasks and worries, whether they be within or out of our control, and our troubles seem insurmountable, remember to cast all your anxieties upon Jesus Christ our Saviour, in whom we trust. God bless!
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
"I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." - Philippians 4:4-13
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Missing ya
Sally is in Sydney. I already miss her heaps. Even though I know so much of it is irrational, it was almost traumatic to say goodbye - all the while knowing that I'll probably see her on Saturday! Who says guys aren't emotional?
Now I begin to see and understand why some couples I know (though most of them are married), find it such a difficult consideration to be apart even for just a few days. I used to find this astonishing, thinking, "oh what, it's just a few days, so what's the difficulty?" - until I face the situation myself. It's like a part of me is missing, because it left when the other person went away. And my emotions irrationally behave as if no return is in sight. And it just doesn't seem to occur to me that it won't actually be so long before next time I see her!
Time passes, or doesn't pass (as it seems), it's now Tuesday - it feels as if Monday, when Sal left, was ages ago. Like a few long days, not just one. Time is a funny thing - it seems to take itself when we are saddened, and it loosens itself and runs away when we have fun.
Miss ya heaps, Sal!
Now I begin to see and understand why some couples I know (though most of them are married), find it such a difficult consideration to be apart even for just a few days. I used to find this astonishing, thinking, "oh what, it's just a few days, so what's the difficulty?" - until I face the situation myself. It's like a part of me is missing, because it left when the other person went away. And my emotions irrationally behave as if no return is in sight. And it just doesn't seem to occur to me that it won't actually be so long before next time I see her!
Time passes, or doesn't pass (as it seems), it's now Tuesday - it feels as if Monday, when Sal left, was ages ago. Like a few long days, not just one. Time is a funny thing - it seems to take itself when we are saddened, and it loosens itself and runs away when we have fun.
Miss ya heaps, Sal!
Thursday, September 15, 2005
(Unimaginative) update...
It's been a while since my last blog - time for some sort of update! Lately, have been semi-busy with my surgery rotation at RMH, but in this time I've been concentrating on the day-to-day looking after patients on the ward, still haven't visited operating theatre this rotation! Must visit sometime soon, so I know where all my patients are disappearing to and returning from, nasty scars and all. Am attached to the trauma team at the moment, but far from being the rushed, hectic, heroic scenarios second after second, it's been quite laid back. That's not to say they don't do heroic things. It was quite exciting and frightening at the same time being with the team this morning, trying to salvage (against huge odds) the life of a man whose head had been run over by a forklift - mashed, essentially. He's surviving for the moment, which is good. But it'll be a touch-and-go matter, whether he can recover from the injury, and how the brain will come out of it all. Unfortunately, the eyes are all but gone. To imagine that all these patients are in hospital because of things that could happen to anyone at any time - motor vehicle crashes, falls etc. It's such a strong reminder that we ought to be thankful for each moment of life we have!
What else has been going on? Did UMO for first time ever yesterday! UMO = university maths olympics. It's more-or-less a running relay race (up and down stairs) and whirlwind maths competition combined. I was a last-second (almost literally) addition to the team (the other members being Sally, Nick, Andrew and Zhihong)! I think I was far more valuable for my running skill than any mathematical ability I have, which pales in comparison with the others in the team. For most of the race, amidst all the chaos, we were winning. That is, until one question, where amidst all the chaos, brains shut down and refused to work. Having solved all the questions up til that one, we doggedly (and perhaps foolishly) persevered, still arriving at no result after a few minutes. After Nick ran down several answers, we finally decided to pass, and in frustration, realised that we'd just relinquished our lead to teams that weren't so foolish. In the end, if we had passed that question, we could have added the next question (which proved to be far friendlier) to our points - and given us a better chance. Nevertheless, a team full of amazing talent (myself being the exception) ended up third - a good result. Although disappointing after being in the lead for almost the whole thing (we would have won had the competition finished only a few minutes earlier), and doubly infuriating losing to a team that proclaimed its team description "we're here to beat Sally".
Enough ramble from thilly me for now, looking forward to med ball tomorrow night! Perhaps there will be some photos in my next blog! It promises to be a great night!
God bless!
~Dave ;p
What else has been going on? Did UMO for first time ever yesterday! UMO = university maths olympics. It's more-or-less a running relay race (up and down stairs) and whirlwind maths competition combined. I was a last-second (almost literally) addition to the team (the other members being Sally, Nick, Andrew and Zhihong)! I think I was far more valuable for my running skill than any mathematical ability I have, which pales in comparison with the others in the team. For most of the race, amidst all the chaos, we were winning. That is, until one question, where amidst all the chaos, brains shut down and refused to work. Having solved all the questions up til that one, we doggedly (and perhaps foolishly) persevered, still arriving at no result after a few minutes. After Nick ran down several answers, we finally decided to pass, and in frustration, realised that we'd just relinquished our lead to teams that weren't so foolish. In the end, if we had passed that question, we could have added the next question (which proved to be far friendlier) to our points - and given us a better chance. Nevertheless, a team full of amazing talent (myself being the exception) ended up third - a good result. Although disappointing after being in the lead for almost the whole thing (we would have won had the competition finished only a few minutes earlier), and doubly infuriating losing to a team that proclaimed its team description "we're here to beat Sally".
Enough ramble from thilly me for now, looking forward to med ball tomorrow night! Perhaps there will be some photos in my next blog! It promises to be a great night!
God bless!
~Dave ;p
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Inspiration...
I'm going to try normal-style writing for blog now, seeing that I reckon all the triple dots and lack of proper punctuation makes it all hard to read. It's somewhat unnatural for me, since I'm so used to typing the other way. So I hope this is a bit better!
Sal & I went to an MSO concert last night, featuring Stephen Kovacevich as the soloist playing Beethoven's brilliant Emperor Concerto, and it proved to be an awesome performance! The first movement is a grand combination of virtuosic, rippling cadenzas and robust, stately melody. The beautiful, relaxing melodic line and improvisational style of the second movement is reminiscent of a calm ocean reverie. Finally, the third movement resounds with the abundant energy of its familiar regal tune.
What is it about music that's so enjoyable? Is it in its power to transport one to a different world? Like vistas of grand, oriental palaces and spectacular celebration in the case of the Emperor? Or its ability to make one feel as if every fibre of the body just wants to dance and twinkle like a sprite? Or, might I suggest, that it could have something to do with the sparking of memories and emotion tied up with especially familiar throes of melody? Whatever it is, it's truly one of life's greatest mysteries!
I hope that music is always part of my life. I've lived with music since I was so little! Thank God for the inspiration and happiness He provides through music!
Meanwhile - I'm sure everyone will know about the current ongoing disaster situation in New Orleans, stricken by Hurricane Katrina. Such a stark contrast to the comfort and happiness of my own life, it pains me to learn of the suffering of many across the globe. Not only has a natural disaster struck, but the authorities seem slow to act in the remediation of the situation. All the while, human sin rears its ugly head in the midst of desparation with an epidemic of looting, rape, and all kinds of lawlessness. Disease strikes and claims many lives while afflicting multitudes more. The entire city has been made destitude and with so many people dispossessed and stripped of all they had except what God gave them the day they were born, we are reminded of our vulnerability and the fact that our life is a precious, fragile gift.
But it's at these times that we have to keep hanging on, even though it is so hard. God sustains us, in all ways. Even when afflicted by an overwhelming flood of enemies, when we are stripped bare, we should try to remember that we have a God who knows and understands suffering, because He has endured it already. And we stand before God, knowing that it's just us and Him, and nothing else. Habakkuk realised this, when he questioned God about the disaster facing Israel. God's plans are not always fathomable, sometimes they baffle us no end. But yet, he could rejoice because he knew God. Likewise, by faith, remain strong in God, because He alone is our hope and redemption, and rejoice in the face of trials. And so this Psalm goes out to encourage and remind everyone of this reality.
Sal & I went to an MSO concert last night, featuring Stephen Kovacevich as the soloist playing Beethoven's brilliant Emperor Concerto, and it proved to be an awesome performance! The first movement is a grand combination of virtuosic, rippling cadenzas and robust, stately melody. The beautiful, relaxing melodic line and improvisational style of the second movement is reminiscent of a calm ocean reverie. Finally, the third movement resounds with the abundant energy of its familiar regal tune.
What is it about music that's so enjoyable? Is it in its power to transport one to a different world? Like vistas of grand, oriental palaces and spectacular celebration in the case of the Emperor? Or its ability to make one feel as if every fibre of the body just wants to dance and twinkle like a sprite? Or, might I suggest, that it could have something to do with the sparking of memories and emotion tied up with especially familiar throes of melody? Whatever it is, it's truly one of life's greatest mysteries!
I hope that music is always part of my life. I've lived with music since I was so little! Thank God for the inspiration and happiness He provides through music!
Meanwhile - I'm sure everyone will know about the current ongoing disaster situation in New Orleans, stricken by Hurricane Katrina. Such a stark contrast to the comfort and happiness of my own life, it pains me to learn of the suffering of many across the globe. Not only has a natural disaster struck, but the authorities seem slow to act in the remediation of the situation. All the while, human sin rears its ugly head in the midst of desparation with an epidemic of looting, rape, and all kinds of lawlessness. Disease strikes and claims many lives while afflicting multitudes more. The entire city has been made destitude and with so many people dispossessed and stripped of all they had except what God gave them the day they were born, we are reminded of our vulnerability and the fact that our life is a precious, fragile gift.
But it's at these times that we have to keep hanging on, even though it is so hard. God sustains us, in all ways. Even when afflicted by an overwhelming flood of enemies, when we are stripped bare, we should try to remember that we have a God who knows and understands suffering, because He has endured it already. And we stand before God, knowing that it's just us and Him, and nothing else. Habakkuk realised this, when he questioned God about the disaster facing Israel. God's plans are not always fathomable, sometimes they baffle us no end. But yet, he could rejoice because he knew God. Likewise, by faith, remain strong in God, because He alone is our hope and redemption, and rejoice in the face of trials. And so this Psalm goes out to encourage and remind everyone of this reality.
Psalm 42
1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.
5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and 6 my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.
8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.
9 I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"
10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Springtime!!!
wow, last couple of days have been amazing ;p i don't really know what to say, but yeh, i feel so fully invigorated and renewed in my being after a really horrible couple of days... feel like rejoicing!!!
such a complete turnaround from jus couple of days ago... when sal & i were finding communication a struggle... even tho there seemed so little real reason for unhappiness, and i had every reason to rejoice, my world felt so empty... so empty that i felt like a dumb animal trapped inside a cave filling with mud, and nobody could hear and understand my anguish... my eyes gazed upon a world that i could not understand, nor could i make myself understood... not even my closest companion felt within reach... i felt like echoing the words of David in psalm 22:
but praise to Him who performs miracles!!!
human relationships are always so full of wonder and mystery!!! at once so fulfilling that one captures a ray of brilliant light from heaven... but at other times, one is driven to the depths of despair, one starts to enter into their own shakespearean tragedy...
anywayz - it's only 2 more days til spring!!! ;p and the weather has been very springy... hmmm... minus the hayfever ;p i hope it can stay this way for a lil while, sunshine illuminating the natural spendour of green grasslands and trees starting to bear all manner of colours... before i'm too busy sneezing to appreciate the scenery ;p - best remedy: mometasone furoate nasal spray (i'll refrain from using trade names here)... discovered that one on my elective term...
so i hope the change of weather heralds a good season of happiness and growth for all of us ;p - and may we always remember God's miraculous power of restoration!!!
such a complete turnaround from jus couple of days ago... when sal & i were finding communication a struggle... even tho there seemed so little real reason for unhappiness, and i had every reason to rejoice, my world felt so empty... so empty that i felt like a dumb animal trapped inside a cave filling with mud, and nobody could hear and understand my anguish... my eyes gazed upon a world that i could not understand, nor could i make myself understood... not even my closest companion felt within reach... i felt like echoing the words of David in psalm 22:
"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from the words of my groaning?
O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, and am not silent."
- Psalm 22:1-2
but praise to Him who performs miracles!!!
human relationships are always so full of wonder and mystery!!! at once so fulfilling that one captures a ray of brilliant light from heaven... but at other times, one is driven to the depths of despair, one starts to enter into their own shakespearean tragedy...
anywayz - it's only 2 more days til spring!!! ;p and the weather has been very springy... hmmm... minus the hayfever ;p i hope it can stay this way for a lil while, sunshine illuminating the natural spendour of green grasslands and trees starting to bear all manner of colours... before i'm too busy sneezing to appreciate the scenery ;p - best remedy: mometasone furoate nasal spray (i'll refrain from using trade names here)... discovered that one on my elective term...
so i hope the change of weather heralds a good season of happiness and growth for all of us ;p - and may we always remember God's miraculous power of restoration!!!
Sunday, August 21, 2005
On popular demand...
hey ;p am writing coz have been bugged by ppl to update blog!!! yes, it's been a while!!! but yah, it's also been a while since i've practised music, felt on top of all my study, or done any exercise!!! so yah... hmmm, i'm not so sure blogging ought to be this high up on my priority list... but anyhow, as i'm here already...
am in a strangely enough happy state atm, considering tomorrow is monday... with another busy week ahead, i wonder whether i should be this happy... ;p but i'm not going to complain... i have far too much to be thankful for... as chapter one of ephesians (which sal & i are studying lately) doesn't tire of reminding us, we have a life of spiritual blessing granted us by God's grace for the praise of His glory, so this is the real reason why we should be rejoicing!!!
despite this, i've been spending far too much time on utopia - such a horrible timesink!!! it's exciting to see our province grow quickly!!! our military attack random enemies, and then hoping and doing all we can to stop enemies getting back at us... keep fingers tight ;p haha... scheming, plotting... warring... hmmm... why is it so addictive, i wonder?!? is it the thrill of entering the imaginary world of fantasy characters, even more so that we have control over some of them?!? is it the inner competitive spirit being fanned into flame?!? or just an escape from reality?!?
hmmm... anywayz, for those who don't know much abt utopia, it's an online game where u control a province, u're part of a kingdom, and in the world there are many, many kingdoms that partake in wars and tussle and compete through exploration and conquest to become the biggest, best, most honourable in the known utopian world... it's actually immensely complex and one can get lost in and among the intricacies, with thieves, mages, military, infrastructure and politics among the many domains of operation you have under your control... ;p hmmm... argh, we just had lots of spells cast on us!!! hmmmz... ;p war as we speak!!!
;p errrm, enough of utopia for a while... hmmm... shall go now... anywayz, the world we should fix our minds on is this one depicted in revelation 22, the true utopia (from today's odb):
what an amazing thing we have to look forward to!!! Heaven ;p the place where God calls us to... no longer any curse, no more night, just our God who will have the created community He called from the beginning to serve Him!!! one day ;p it seems so different, so remote... yet we are called to fix our eyes on that future prepared in Jesus... and do what we can to bring God's purposes to earth... perspective, that's what we need more of...
God bless!!!
crazy dave
am in a strangely enough happy state atm, considering tomorrow is monday... with another busy week ahead, i wonder whether i should be this happy... ;p but i'm not going to complain... i have far too much to be thankful for... as chapter one of ephesians (which sal & i are studying lately) doesn't tire of reminding us, we have a life of spiritual blessing granted us by God's grace for the praise of His glory, so this is the real reason why we should be rejoicing!!!
despite this, i've been spending far too much time on utopia - such a horrible timesink!!! it's exciting to see our province grow quickly!!! our military attack random enemies, and then hoping and doing all we can to stop enemies getting back at us... keep fingers tight ;p haha... scheming, plotting... warring... hmmm... why is it so addictive, i wonder?!? is it the thrill of entering the imaginary world of fantasy characters, even more so that we have control over some of them?!? is it the inner competitive spirit being fanned into flame?!? or just an escape from reality?!?
hmmm... anywayz, for those who don't know much abt utopia, it's an online game where u control a province, u're part of a kingdom, and in the world there are many, many kingdoms that partake in wars and tussle and compete through exploration and conquest to become the biggest, best, most honourable in the known utopian world... it's actually immensely complex and one can get lost in and among the intricacies, with thieves, mages, military, infrastructure and politics among the many domains of operation you have under your control... ;p hmmm... argh, we just had lots of spells cast on us!!! hmmmz... ;p war as we speak!!!
;p errrm, enough of utopia for a while... hmmm... shall go now... anywayz, the world we should fix our minds on is this one depicted in revelation 22, the true utopia (from today's odb):
"Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." - Revelation 22:1-5
what an amazing thing we have to look forward to!!! Heaven ;p the place where God calls us to... no longer any curse, no more night, just our God who will have the created community He called from the beginning to serve Him!!! one day ;p it seems so different, so remote... yet we are called to fix our eyes on that future prepared in Jesus... and do what we can to bring God's purposes to earth... perspective, that's what we need more of...
God bless!!!
crazy dave
Monday, August 08, 2005
Busy bug...
it seems like i'm just playing catchup again... 8am starts, need sleep, not much time to study, so much stuff i still want to do (music, dancing - yes, dancing ;p - more reading, swimming, running, utopia - yes, that timesink!!! - etc) - and it's all a bit hard with jus 24 hrs in a day!!! so hmmm, this is the life i choose to look forward to?!? - really tho, i like it... somehow still i can manage to do most things with my time, still spend time alone with God, and at the end of it all, i still have lots of stuff to catch up on (and hence look forward to!!!)
i don't think i usually enjoy being busy... now, i'm strangely quite happy and satisfied with being busy like this... but i don't think it's best for me to classify my state of mind as being satisfied with being busy, rather jus coz i'm satisfied and happy with the things that matter, that being busy jus no longer bothers me...
sorry, i should keep this blog short - need to sleep soon!!! ;p
shall leave with this passage... it's abt martha and mary, actually it warns us against being too busy!!! - it's a necessary and timely reminder for someone busy like me that what really matters is not the stuff we do here on earth, but rather how we carry our hearts in front of the Lord... so, despite being busy, i pray that i always can make time to spend alone with God and in fellowship with others celebrating God!!!
i don't think i usually enjoy being busy... now, i'm strangely quite happy and satisfied with being busy like this... but i don't think it's best for me to classify my state of mind as being satisfied with being busy, rather jus coz i'm satisfied and happy with the things that matter, that being busy jus no longer bothers me...
sorry, i should keep this blog short - need to sleep soon!!! ;p
shall leave with this passage... it's abt martha and mary, actually it warns us against being too busy!!! - it's a necessary and timely reminder for someone busy like me that what really matters is not the stuff we do here on earth, but rather how we carry our hearts in front of the Lord... so, despite being busy, i pray that i always can make time to spend alone with God and in fellowship with others celebrating God!!!
At the Home of Martha and Mary
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." - Luke 10:38-42
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Driving force...
last sunday, our Church embarked on a journey called the purpose driven life, a program by which we are made aware of our God-given purpose in life over forty days, based on a book called "the purpose driven life" by rick warren... just started reading through the book, it's really quite thought-provoking, think i can gain a lot from it!!!
the day 3 chapter talks about what drives us, which i read yesterday, and this made me think... some people are driven by guilt, their actions are set about avoiding confronting that guilt; others driven by anger and resentment, actions set about seeking retribution or avoiding arousal of anger; others driven by fear, perhaps of taking risks and consequences, perhaps of stepping out of their comfort zone, perhaps of losing control; yet more are driven by materialism; still others driven by need for approval... there are people who describe the whole human endeavour we call "life" as being driven by the denial of death, i.e. survival, on either or both a species and individual level...
but as Christians, our driving force is none of these things... or ought to be... our driving force ought to be God, love for Him because of who He is and what He has done for us through Christ, and love for others both for who they are as God's creation and out of reverence for Christ... God and love... well, God is love, so really, ultimately, we can say that our driving force ought to be God... and what more amazing driving force can there be than God?!? we ought to be driven people, never lacking energy, because of this...
but yeh, i guess that's where i know i fall apart sometimes... i'm not always like that... i often lack energy, i sometimes find myself unable to give thanks to God in everything, when confronted by trials i fail to trust and love as i should... where does this leave me?!? it probably means that i'm not always driven by God as i should be, and find myself instead struggling with the other issues - guilt, anger, fear, need for approval and the like... why is this?!? living in a sin-contaminated world, i guess i slip back sometimes into difficulty struggling with these things, slip back to a short-sighted and short-term view of the world, and slip back into struggling with temptation to sin...
how then to deal with it?!?
it pulls me back to a passage from the sermon on the mount (yay for summit!!!) - which i've now decided to make my one thing to work on... it's about mindset, and comes from a passage that's already appeared a few times in my blog i think!!!
it's easy to say, "do not worry" (or do not be anxious)... but so hard to do... how can we not worry about our life?!? it's not a matter of simply absence of worry, but rather something else to concentrate on... it's also easy to say, but hard to do - the key lies in the verse, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness"... just try to think about God's kingdom for a moment... it is hard to think about!!! because it's so amazing, so much so that even a lengthy string of superlatives would be far inadequate to describe it...
what's more, if you try to contrast this life with the next, our earthly treasures with heavenly treasures, we're trying to grasp the difference between tainted and unblemished, imperfect and perfect, temporary and eternal, finite and infinite... we cannot imagine it with our finite minds... it is only through God's Spirit that we can even begin to imagine things beyond our death, and it is only because of Jesus Christ that we know it is possible (but more than possible, it is certain!!!)... i like this bit from purpose driven life - "To make the most of your life, you must keep the vision of eternity continually in your mind and its value in your heart." God's flame never goes out, but we have to avoid being blinded by sin by continually concentrating on the flame...
so then, guilt and anger no longer hold sway, for sin is dead in Christ and we are forgiven... fear is conquered by love, and God is always with us... material motives become insignificant in light of the eternal, heavenly treasures in our eternal home... the need for approval of others is surpassed infinitely by the justification before God that we have by faith in Jesus... and death is no longer an end, but simply a transition into the life of unimaginable wonder!!!
i pray for God's strength, God's will, God's Spirit, God's love, to always be our driving force, in all circumstances!!!
the day 3 chapter talks about what drives us, which i read yesterday, and this made me think... some people are driven by guilt, their actions are set about avoiding confronting that guilt; others driven by anger and resentment, actions set about seeking retribution or avoiding arousal of anger; others driven by fear, perhaps of taking risks and consequences, perhaps of stepping out of their comfort zone, perhaps of losing control; yet more are driven by materialism; still others driven by need for approval... there are people who describe the whole human endeavour we call "life" as being driven by the denial of death, i.e. survival, on either or both a species and individual level...
but as Christians, our driving force is none of these things... or ought to be... our driving force ought to be God, love for Him because of who He is and what He has done for us through Christ, and love for others both for who they are as God's creation and out of reverence for Christ... God and love... well, God is love, so really, ultimately, we can say that our driving force ought to be God... and what more amazing driving force can there be than God?!? we ought to be driven people, never lacking energy, because of this...
but yeh, i guess that's where i know i fall apart sometimes... i'm not always like that... i often lack energy, i sometimes find myself unable to give thanks to God in everything, when confronted by trials i fail to trust and love as i should... where does this leave me?!? it probably means that i'm not always driven by God as i should be, and find myself instead struggling with the other issues - guilt, anger, fear, need for approval and the like... why is this?!? living in a sin-contaminated world, i guess i slip back sometimes into difficulty struggling with these things, slip back to a short-sighted and short-term view of the world, and slip back into struggling with temptation to sin...
how then to deal with it?!?
it pulls me back to a passage from the sermon on the mount (yay for summit!!!) - which i've now decided to make my one thing to work on... it's about mindset, and comes from a passage that's already appeared a few times in my blog i think!!!
Do Not Worry
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:25-34
it's easy to say, "do not worry" (or do not be anxious)... but so hard to do... how can we not worry about our life?!? it's not a matter of simply absence of worry, but rather something else to concentrate on... it's also easy to say, but hard to do - the key lies in the verse, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness"... just try to think about God's kingdom for a moment... it is hard to think about!!! because it's so amazing, so much so that even a lengthy string of superlatives would be far inadequate to describe it...
"What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived—
these things God has prepared for those who love him" - 1 Corinthians 2:9
what's more, if you try to contrast this life with the next, our earthly treasures with heavenly treasures, we're trying to grasp the difference between tainted and unblemished, imperfect and perfect, temporary and eternal, finite and infinite... we cannot imagine it with our finite minds... it is only through God's Spirit that we can even begin to imagine things beyond our death, and it is only because of Jesus Christ that we know it is possible (but more than possible, it is certain!!!)... i like this bit from purpose driven life - "To make the most of your life, you must keep the vision of eternity continually in your mind and its value in your heart." God's flame never goes out, but we have to avoid being blinded by sin by continually concentrating on the flame...
so then, guilt and anger no longer hold sway, for sin is dead in Christ and we are forgiven... fear is conquered by love, and God is always with us... material motives become insignificant in light of the eternal, heavenly treasures in our eternal home... the need for approval of others is surpassed infinitely by the justification before God that we have by faith in Jesus... and death is no longer an end, but simply a transition into the life of unimaginable wonder!!!
i pray for God's strength, God's will, God's Spirit, God's love, to always be our driving force, in all circumstances!!!
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
God's plans...
i jus got the news yesterday that i missed out on my first preference of royal melbourne hospital, so will be doing my internship at western hospital in footscray next year... i ought to be happy, but part of me, for a day, refused to accept this verdict... part of me, for a day, decided that there had to be something wrong with me in order for me not to have been selected at the place i so genuinely wanted to be next year... part of me, for a day, wanted to hang on to the head-borne idea that so vividly played itself in my mind - me, an intern, working at the same hospital i'd been trained through for the last two years...
so my mind's been zinging, ka-chunking, splicing bits around in order to dismantle the idea, and replace it with a new one, intern at western hospital... i suppose i've today come to accept it a lot better than i had yesterday... for a day, i was in a horrible mood, and must have been terrible company... for a day, i grieved myself, as if my worth were determined by my selection at a particular hospital... for a day, i failed to trust that God has much greater plans than my own...
today's odb has been particularly pointed, and refreshing, in light of this... it talks about God's mysterious plans...
thank God that He is in control, and not us!!! i pray that God will help me not only accept this departure from my set ideas of before, but will help me use this unique and wonderful opportunity to grow to get to know Him better, and to serve in my capacity, as well as possible, the patients i'll be treating next year... i know that the experience will be a good one, and will turn out in a few years' time, wherever i'll be, to have been a greater blessing than i can possibly imagine...
for now, i think, i'll leave with the couplet from today's odb:
so my mind's been zinging, ka-chunking, splicing bits around in order to dismantle the idea, and replace it with a new one, intern at western hospital... i suppose i've today come to accept it a lot better than i had yesterday... for a day, i was in a horrible mood, and must have been terrible company... for a day, i grieved myself, as if my worth were determined by my selection at a particular hospital... for a day, i failed to trust that God has much greater plans than my own...
today's odb has been particularly pointed, and refreshing, in light of this... it talks about God's mysterious plans...
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28
thank God that He is in control, and not us!!! i pray that God will help me not only accept this departure from my set ideas of before, but will help me use this unique and wonderful opportunity to grow to get to know Him better, and to serve in my capacity, as well as possible, the patients i'll be treating next year... i know that the experience will be a good one, and will turn out in a few years' time, wherever i'll be, to have been a greater blessing than i can possibly imagine...
for now, i think, i'll leave with the couplet from today's odb:
"My times are in my Father's hand;
How could I wish or ask for more?
For He who has my pathway planned
Will guide me till my journey's o'er." - Fraser
Friday, July 15, 2005
Summit ;p ...
it's really hard to describe how i feel right now... kinda mixed emotions, on top of the world, and at the same time, trying to come to grips with the sad realities of the world i've returned to... it's like returning from another land, a land where ppl with a common purpose come together, a land far removed from the harsh reality of sin and greed that so dominates so much of this world... a land where God is exalted and brought into exclusive focus, where He ought to be in our lives... ;p
summit was such an enriching experience - for those who don't know, it's a camp run by melbourne uni's christian union where around 100 ppl gather and learn abt God, through studying His word... each year, there's a theme, and it happens that ethics was the topic of the week with an eminent bioethicist (douglas milne) and one of the pastors from st jude's (mike flynn) being the two principal speakers... bioethics was interesting, with topics such as ivf, embryonic stem cells and transplantation discussed, among other things...
the sermon on the mount was the key text (matthew 5-7), an amazing account of the teaching of Jesus, where He expounds on the law of God and the principles behind it... it talks about what really counts, the attitudes of the heart, the secret part of us that only God can truly see... it talks about the lofty standards of the life that God calls us to... it warns against the lure of worldly rewards, money and so forth, and against wrong conditions of the heart such as pride, hypocrisy and selfishness... and it speaks also of the great promise of God, that for all who follow Him, we are to be part of His family... ;p
i won't go into any real details about that here and now, am so tired from driving and sleeplessness... ;p but hopefully will have some time to concentrate on it over the next few weeks... so watch this space!!!
so where was summit?!? in the sleepy town of marysville, a lazy hour's drive past healesville, and jus half an hour shy of the white haven that is lake mountain... ;p i think it's such a gorgeous place, set so high up in the hills, and the steavenson's falls are a picture of magnificence among the misty green surrounds of the beautiful marysville state forest... ;p photos to come!!! - the falls were so amazing i'd been there four of the seven days we had for summit!!! it's an eerie sight by night, the blue glow of the floodlight looking quite radioactive, and wowing all the crowds that gather... it's quite a romantic hotspot, apparently... one of the christian union staff workers had intended to, and almost did, propose to his then girlfriend at the falls!!! ;p well, yeh, almost... it wasn't to be, not yet... but they are now married, several years down the track, and they have three of the cutest kids i've seen!!!
we'd visited the night falls vista with a fairly large group from the camp... we were blessed with a mostly rainless night, but the cold weather ensured we were shrouded in layer upon layer of wooly material anyway, scarves and beanies, and seeking each other's warmth... sal & i were among the first to end up at the platform that offered the closest vantage point, and we were simply content to hold each other and listen to the sound of water crashing upon the rocks below... there's such a sense of timelessness when surrounded by nature!!! it wasn't long before one of the staff workers and his wife appeared on the opposite side, and though it was dark, it wasn't hard to work out what they were doing, providing some amusement for a time, until their flashlight came and fell upon us, revealing our wool-clad embrace... oh well... i figured most ppl had come to look at the falls anyhow, so we didn't mind ;p
another time we explored the falls, we climbed to the top, trudging through mud-puddles most of the way up the steep incline... climbing was exhausting, but it was interesting to observe the vast landscape from a higher viewpoint, and the mystery of the mountain peaks hidden by an expanse of cloudy mist rolling across the sky... at times it seemed we were only a few metres from the cloud line!!! at the top we were greeted by the rushing waters of the top of the falls, whooshing over the edge to the rocks below... a sign somewhere said it was about 80m tall, but it's not one single waterfall, but rather a series of fall after fall, from the top (where we were this time) to the bottom (where we had been the other night and days)...
such immense beauty surely is the work of God!!! ;p i guess i can imagine that it somewhat resembles what the first man and woman would have experienced in God's garden, nature so minimally impacted by man, life abundant without worry, and a vista that somehow jus brings forth indescribable waves of joy... with sal, the woman i love, by my side... jus the sort of way i'd want to spend eternity...
so sad having to leave... coming down the windy road back to the big smoke again, i felt a tug pulling me back towards the mountain... but i have to say, having been blessed with so many wonderful memories, friends, time relaxing, and above all, time getting to know God, i'm so happy for this escape which has been one of the best weeks of my life!!! ;p
-
ps... read sal's blog!!!
summit was such an enriching experience - for those who don't know, it's a camp run by melbourne uni's christian union where around 100 ppl gather and learn abt God, through studying His word... each year, there's a theme, and it happens that ethics was the topic of the week with an eminent bioethicist (douglas milne) and one of the pastors from st jude's (mike flynn) being the two principal speakers... bioethics was interesting, with topics such as ivf, embryonic stem cells and transplantation discussed, among other things...
the sermon on the mount was the key text (matthew 5-7), an amazing account of the teaching of Jesus, where He expounds on the law of God and the principles behind it... it talks about what really counts, the attitudes of the heart, the secret part of us that only God can truly see... it talks about the lofty standards of the life that God calls us to... it warns against the lure of worldly rewards, money and so forth, and against wrong conditions of the heart such as pride, hypocrisy and selfishness... and it speaks also of the great promise of God, that for all who follow Him, we are to be part of His family... ;p
i won't go into any real details about that here and now, am so tired from driving and sleeplessness... ;p but hopefully will have some time to concentrate on it over the next few weeks... so watch this space!!!
so where was summit?!? in the sleepy town of marysville, a lazy hour's drive past healesville, and jus half an hour shy of the white haven that is lake mountain... ;p i think it's such a gorgeous place, set so high up in the hills, and the steavenson's falls are a picture of magnificence among the misty green surrounds of the beautiful marysville state forest... ;p photos to come!!! - the falls were so amazing i'd been there four of the seven days we had for summit!!! it's an eerie sight by night, the blue glow of the floodlight looking quite radioactive, and wowing all the crowds that gather... it's quite a romantic hotspot, apparently... one of the christian union staff workers had intended to, and almost did, propose to his then girlfriend at the falls!!! ;p well, yeh, almost... it wasn't to be, not yet... but they are now married, several years down the track, and they have three of the cutest kids i've seen!!!
we'd visited the night falls vista with a fairly large group from the camp... we were blessed with a mostly rainless night, but the cold weather ensured we were shrouded in layer upon layer of wooly material anyway, scarves and beanies, and seeking each other's warmth... sal & i were among the first to end up at the platform that offered the closest vantage point, and we were simply content to hold each other and listen to the sound of water crashing upon the rocks below... there's such a sense of timelessness when surrounded by nature!!! it wasn't long before one of the staff workers and his wife appeared on the opposite side, and though it was dark, it wasn't hard to work out what they were doing, providing some amusement for a time, until their flashlight came and fell upon us, revealing our wool-clad embrace... oh well... i figured most ppl had come to look at the falls anyhow, so we didn't mind ;p
another time we explored the falls, we climbed to the top, trudging through mud-puddles most of the way up the steep incline... climbing was exhausting, but it was interesting to observe the vast landscape from a higher viewpoint, and the mystery of the mountain peaks hidden by an expanse of cloudy mist rolling across the sky... at times it seemed we were only a few metres from the cloud line!!! at the top we were greeted by the rushing waters of the top of the falls, whooshing over the edge to the rocks below... a sign somewhere said it was about 80m tall, but it's not one single waterfall, but rather a series of fall after fall, from the top (where we were this time) to the bottom (where we had been the other night and days)...
such immense beauty surely is the work of God!!! ;p i guess i can imagine that it somewhat resembles what the first man and woman would have experienced in God's garden, nature so minimally impacted by man, life abundant without worry, and a vista that somehow jus brings forth indescribable waves of joy... with sal, the woman i love, by my side... jus the sort of way i'd want to spend eternity...
so sad having to leave... coming down the windy road back to the big smoke again, i felt a tug pulling me back towards the mountain... but i have to say, having been blessed with so many wonderful memories, friends, time relaxing, and above all, time getting to know God, i'm so happy for this escape which has been one of the best weeks of my life!!! ;p
-
ps... read sal's blog!!!
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Unending praise...
;p a wave of relief overcomes me today as i realise the finality of exams after a long, long semester!!! was already 3 weeks ago when sal started holidays, now we only have a few days really for ourselves, then back to busy other commitments... summit starting on saturday (so looking forward to it!!!), and going for a week!!! well, things really aren't so bad then, yah?!?
this morning, as i set off for the exam, walked out of the house to realise the return of clear, blue skies for the first day in many!!! thank God that we'd been spared the rain during the daytime most days, but still the days had been gloomy and overcast... today though, blue was seen in more than jus a small patch of the sky... there was hardly a cloud to be seen!!! revealing in God's creation below the full beauty of nature...
really, creation is a hymn of perpetual motion singing the praise of God... ;p and so too ought our lives be... as humanity strives to discover truth and attain perfection, it's often so easy to acknowledge our setbacks and get caught up in the avoidance of pitfalls that we miss the beauty that clothes our existence... this unending hymn of praise, that even now is but a poor reflection of the perfection that is to come... ;p kinda like this passage in 1 Corinthians 13:8-13
it's like looking at a rainbow, but focusing on the distance between us and the rainbow... looking so far can make us vulnerable to feeling depressed and low, missing the point that there is a rainbow to be marvelled at... and all we do is try to get closer, all the time despairing that it eludes our clutch by so far... maybe for now, we ought to simply stand and behold the rainbow, its immense beauty...
so what's it all abt?!? i guess i'd been despairing upon setbacks and how things could've been better, all the while missing the simple truth that there is so much there to be happy abt and to look forward to... praise God that He is the rainbow to behold in our lives ;p
this morning, as i set off for the exam, walked out of the house to realise the return of clear, blue skies for the first day in many!!! thank God that we'd been spared the rain during the daytime most days, but still the days had been gloomy and overcast... today though, blue was seen in more than jus a small patch of the sky... there was hardly a cloud to be seen!!! revealing in God's creation below the full beauty of nature...
really, creation is a hymn of perpetual motion singing the praise of God... ;p and so too ought our lives be... as humanity strives to discover truth and attain perfection, it's often so easy to acknowledge our setbacks and get caught up in the avoidance of pitfalls that we miss the beauty that clothes our existence... this unending hymn of praise, that even now is but a poor reflection of the perfection that is to come... ;p kinda like this passage in 1 Corinthians 13:8-13
"Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
it's like looking at a rainbow, but focusing on the distance between us and the rainbow... looking so far can make us vulnerable to feeling depressed and low, missing the point that there is a rainbow to be marvelled at... and all we do is try to get closer, all the time despairing that it eludes our clutch by so far... maybe for now, we ought to simply stand and behold the rainbow, its immense beauty...
so what's it all abt?!? i guess i'd been despairing upon setbacks and how things could've been better, all the while missing the simple truth that there is so much there to be happy abt and to look forward to... praise God that He is the rainbow to behold in our lives ;p
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Meme time...
no, this really ought to be exam-study-sleep time... but yeh, got this off jim's blog, via sal's blog... ;p how i let myself waste time like this is almost beyond me...
God bless,
dave
---------------------
FIRSTS
First break-up: december 99 (how freaky, same for me, jim... tho my answer should more accurately, but less precisely, be 2nd half of 1999...)
First screenname: alleycat (wow, brings back memories)
First self purchased album: jebs - of someday shambles
First funeral: my trumpet teacher... i hardly learnt trumpet, but my brother did for quite some time...
First piercing/tattoo: never
First true love: believe in this one... ;p
LASTS
Last car ride: back home with shaz jus a couple of hours ago
Last french kiss: um, not fully sure... few days...
Last good cry: a few weeks ago probably... in the depths of despair...
Last library book: a book on guillain barré syndrome... the things we do!!!
Last movie seen (in theater): hhgtg
Last beverage drank: h20
Last food consumed: rice with fish, chicken schnitzel and assorted vegies... ;p
Last phone call: sally
Last Time Showered: this morning
Last shoes worn: strangely my red flame reebok dmx's, which i don't wear very often now...
Last item bought: lunch at uni (mee goreng)
Last annoyance: at myself over being annoyed abt something else that wasn't worth being annoyed abt...
Last time wanting to die: a couple of yrs now i think...
Last time scolded: a few days... hmmm... ;p
RELATIONSHIPS
Who are your best friends?: gal, shaz, mary, and sal (my favourite person ever)
Do you have a girlfriend?: yeh
Do you do drugs?: no (did u know that "no" is some form of japanese theatre?!?)
What kind of shampoo do you use?: palmolive naturals for dry hair (atm)
What are you most scared of?: losing my mental faculties?!? jus from a discussion we had in a tute abt growing old... maybe i am afraid of growing old...
What are you listening to right now?: my brother's computer's noise and headphones, the sounds of warhammer... my computer is very well-behaved and silent!!!
Where do you want to get married?: a church where all my/her friends and family can be there to celebrate too...
What would you change about yourself?: would like to be more like Christ... turn away from my horrible ways of rebellion and self-centredness...
FAVORITES
Color: green, that speaks of nature's beauty...
Food: chocolate!!! my dopamine receptors cry out for satiety!!!
Boy name: hehe... names i like?!? or names i would call a boy?!? i like names with k in them, like kynan... but i'd probably go with a more traditional one if i had to choose, like thomas, or simon, or james
Girl name: kayla!!! or mikayla ;p - haha...
Subjects in school: physics... music...
Animals: dog ;p love labradors...
Sports: tennis... table tennis... ;p but i usually do lonely sports like running and swimming...
Perfume: calvin klein eternity
HAVE YOU EVER
Given anyone a bath?: nope... i don't think so, anyway...
Bungee jumped?: no...
Skinny dipped?: no...
Ever been in love?: yeh, like now...
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: when i was little...
Pictured your crush naked?: ...
Actually seen your crush naked?: no...
Lied?: yes...
Fallen for a close friend?: nearly...
Been rejected?: which 22 year old guy hasn't... (i hope u don't mind me borrowing ur phrase, jim ;p) - once, yes...
Rejected someone: yeh...
Used someone?: no...
Done something you regret?: yeh...
CURRENT
Clothes: jumper, and abt three more layers underneath... still wearing socks and pants from today...
Music: silence... (u know, that piece by john cage?!?)
Annoyance: me, very often me...
Smell: anosmic... no, not true... but nothing stands out...
Favorite band/artist: too many... ;p currently still like coldplay...
Desktop picture: spirited away, pic of chihiro!!!
DVD in player: the passion... and anne-sophie mutter playing beethoven disc 2...
LAST PERSON
You touched: shaz...
Hugged: sal...
You imed: gal, maybe?!? or shaz?!?
Imed you: as above...
Called you: sal...
You called: sal... ;p (kinda predictable, eh?!?)
Bought you flowers: hmmm?!? let me think... if i remember right, i don't know who would've bought them, but whoever for some music gig ages ago...
WHO DO YOU WANNA
Kill: nobody...
Slap: myself... i feel i need a slap ;p, or maybe jus some sleep...
Kiss: ummm, pretty clear already, huh?!?
WHICH IS BETTER
Coke or pepsi: poke...
Flowers or candy: flandy...
Tall or short: tort... doesn't matter, so long as have long hair... ;p
All I need is: God... ;p
Love: God, sal, music...
You dream of: strange things... even i find them strange... ;p that's weird...
Last person you danced with: i don't know... sal, probably... either at dance thingy, or at daniel's place... either way, was a while ago...
Worst question to ask: what if?!? (no, not always true... but yeh, i don't like asking this question of myself...)
Who makes you laugh the most: am in a mood i find hard to imagine what laughter even is... but yeh... some ppl succeed even still ;p
Who has a crush on you: i don't know... i know of several who "had", but believe they'd all be over it now...
DO YOU EVER
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: used to... once upon a time... ;p there are some funny stories i can tell abt this, tho most ppl aren't ever going to find out...
Wish you were younger: not really... but yeh, i think i like 21, so maybe a few days younger...
NUMBER
Of times I have had my heart broken: ummm, depends on what u mean... once (see above), perhaps, might count... but my heart is well and truly intact ;p
Of hearts I have broken: i hope none... one probably, possibly a couple more, but i hope it can still be zero!!!
Of girls I've kissed: 2
Of continents I have lived in: 1
God bless,
dave
---------------------
FIRSTS
First break-up: december 99 (how freaky, same for me, jim... tho my answer should more accurately, but less precisely, be 2nd half of 1999...)
First screenname: alleycat (wow, brings back memories)
First self purchased album: jebs - of someday shambles
First funeral: my trumpet teacher... i hardly learnt trumpet, but my brother did for quite some time...
First piercing/tattoo: never
First true love: believe in this one... ;p
LASTS
Last car ride: back home with shaz jus a couple of hours ago
Last french kiss: um, not fully sure... few days...
Last good cry: a few weeks ago probably... in the depths of despair...
Last library book: a book on guillain barré syndrome... the things we do!!!
Last movie seen (in theater): hhgtg
Last beverage drank: h20
Last food consumed: rice with fish, chicken schnitzel and assorted vegies... ;p
Last phone call: sally
Last Time Showered: this morning
Last shoes worn: strangely my red flame reebok dmx's, which i don't wear very often now...
Last item bought: lunch at uni (mee goreng)
Last annoyance: at myself over being annoyed abt something else that wasn't worth being annoyed abt...
Last time wanting to die: a couple of yrs now i think...
Last time scolded: a few days... hmmm... ;p
RELATIONSHIPS
Who are your best friends?: gal, shaz, mary, and sal (my favourite person ever)
Do you have a girlfriend?: yeh
Do you do drugs?: no (did u know that "no" is some form of japanese theatre?!?)
What kind of shampoo do you use?: palmolive naturals for dry hair (atm)
What are you most scared of?: losing my mental faculties?!? jus from a discussion we had in a tute abt growing old... maybe i am afraid of growing old...
What are you listening to right now?: my brother's computer's noise and headphones, the sounds of warhammer... my computer is very well-behaved and silent!!!
Where do you want to get married?: a church where all my/her friends and family can be there to celebrate too...
What would you change about yourself?: would like to be more like Christ... turn away from my horrible ways of rebellion and self-centredness...
FAVORITES
Color: green, that speaks of nature's beauty...
Food: chocolate!!! my dopamine receptors cry out for satiety!!!
Boy name: hehe... names i like?!? or names i would call a boy?!? i like names with k in them, like kynan... but i'd probably go with a more traditional one if i had to choose, like thomas, or simon, or james
Girl name: kayla!!! or mikayla ;p - haha...
Subjects in school: physics... music...
Animals: dog ;p love labradors...
Sports: tennis... table tennis... ;p but i usually do lonely sports like running and swimming...
Perfume: calvin klein eternity
HAVE YOU EVER
Given anyone a bath?: nope... i don't think so, anyway...
Bungee jumped?: no...
Skinny dipped?: no...
Ever been in love?: yeh, like now...
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: when i was little...
Pictured your crush naked?: ...
Actually seen your crush naked?: no...
Lied?: yes...
Fallen for a close friend?: nearly...
Been rejected?: which 22 year old guy hasn't... (i hope u don't mind me borrowing ur phrase, jim ;p) - once, yes...
Rejected someone: yeh...
Used someone?: no...
Done something you regret?: yeh...
CURRENT
Clothes: jumper, and abt three more layers underneath... still wearing socks and pants from today...
Music: silence... (u know, that piece by john cage?!?)
Annoyance: me, very often me...
Smell: anosmic... no, not true... but nothing stands out...
Favorite band/artist: too many... ;p currently still like coldplay...
Desktop picture: spirited away, pic of chihiro!!!
DVD in player: the passion... and anne-sophie mutter playing beethoven disc 2...
LAST PERSON
You touched: shaz...
Hugged: sal...
You imed: gal, maybe?!? or shaz?!?
Imed you: as above...
Called you: sal...
You called: sal... ;p (kinda predictable, eh?!?)
Bought you flowers: hmmm?!? let me think... if i remember right, i don't know who would've bought them, but whoever for some music gig ages ago...
WHO DO YOU WANNA
Kill: nobody...
Slap: myself... i feel i need a slap ;p, or maybe jus some sleep...
Kiss: ummm, pretty clear already, huh?!?
WHICH IS BETTER
Coke or pepsi: poke...
Flowers or candy: flandy...
Tall or short: tort... doesn't matter, so long as have long hair... ;p
All I need is: God... ;p
Love: God, sal, music...
You dream of: strange things... even i find them strange... ;p that's weird...
Last person you danced with: i don't know... sal, probably... either at dance thingy, or at daniel's place... either way, was a while ago...
Worst question to ask: what if?!? (no, not always true... but yeh, i don't like asking this question of myself...)
Who makes you laugh the most: am in a mood i find hard to imagine what laughter even is... but yeh... some ppl succeed even still ;p
Who has a crush on you: i don't know... i know of several who "had", but believe they'd all be over it now...
DO YOU EVER
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: used to... once upon a time... ;p there are some funny stories i can tell abt this, tho most ppl aren't ever going to find out...
Wish you were younger: not really... but yeh, i think i like 21, so maybe a few days younger...
NUMBER
Of times I have had my heart broken: ummm, depends on what u mean... once (see above), perhaps, might count... but my heart is well and truly intact ;p
Of hearts I have broken: i hope none... one probably, possibly a couple more, but i hope it can still be zero!!!
Of girls I've kissed: 2
Of continents I have lived in: 1
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Exams coming...
ohhh, starting to become aware of the fact that i have an exam on thursday!!! not really stressed, but yeh, to study i should go... jus finished what promises to be my last undergraduate assignment ever, yay!!!
my mind now is a jumble... rapp, rural, emerg, psych - fairly haphazard spread of what some term "fluffy" topics... doesn't mean i'm really good at them tho... well, i suppose emergency medicine isn't really fluffy, although i have to say the others really are... my mindset is quite hazy though, more suited to the fluffy topics, probably because i'm jus coming out from rapp now... rehab, aged care, psych of old age and palliative care... i jus hope i don't go into the exams faced with the situation of a trauma case in need of resus and start asking the patient abt their childhood and love life...
anywayz, back to some study now, then sleep... and drinking heaps of water... bulking up for blood donation... ;p at least i will have done one thing useful this week!!!
my mind now is a jumble... rapp, rural, emerg, psych - fairly haphazard spread of what some term "fluffy" topics... doesn't mean i'm really good at them tho... well, i suppose emergency medicine isn't really fluffy, although i have to say the others really are... my mindset is quite hazy though, more suited to the fluffy topics, probably because i'm jus coming out from rapp now... rehab, aged care, psych of old age and palliative care... i jus hope i don't go into the exams faced with the situation of a trauma case in need of resus and start asking the patient abt their childhood and love life...
anywayz, back to some study now, then sleep... and drinking heaps of water... bulking up for blood donation... ;p at least i will have done one thing useful this week!!!
Monday, June 20, 2005
Repentance... More Deliberations...
repentance is the change of heart that comes with recognising Jesus is Lord... repentance is turning from our sins, but further than that, turning to God... - and only by turning to God, looking to the cross, can we truly repent...
can i lead a righteous life?!? after all, Jesus did say that unless our righteousness surpasses that of the pharisees, we cannot enter the kingdom of God... - but no, inevitably there is a sinful nature within our flesh that will cause us to fall on occasion... - are we then banished?!? no, because by asking forgiveness and believing on Jesus, God sees Jesus' righteousness, and not our own... and certainly, Jesus' righteousness surpasses greatly that of the pharisees!!! so praise to God!!!
i think repentance is important, and often underemphasised... i mean, salvation is not something we can do by changing our ways by our own power... salvation is something we come by only by trusting wholly in Jesus... - and we will be judged at the final day, not by what we do, but by what Jesus did for us...
;p repentance is therefore important, not because it is what saves us, but because it *always* accompanies true faith... i mean, how else can we respond to one so wonderful as our God, except to obey Him?!? to seek forgiveness from past sins?!? to turn to Him and away from sin?!?
i think martin luther said it best when he said, "faith alone saves, but faith that saves is never alone".
can i lead a righteous life?!? after all, Jesus did say that unless our righteousness surpasses that of the pharisees, we cannot enter the kingdom of God... - but no, inevitably there is a sinful nature within our flesh that will cause us to fall on occasion... - are we then banished?!? no, because by asking forgiveness and believing on Jesus, God sees Jesus' righteousness, and not our own... and certainly, Jesus' righteousness surpasses greatly that of the pharisees!!! so praise to God!!!
i think repentance is important, and often underemphasised... i mean, salvation is not something we can do by changing our ways by our own power... salvation is something we come by only by trusting wholly in Jesus... - and we will be judged at the final day, not by what we do, but by what Jesus did for us...
;p repentance is therefore important, not because it is what saves us, but because it *always* accompanies true faith... i mean, how else can we respond to one so wonderful as our God, except to obey Him?!? to seek forgiveness from past sins?!? to turn to Him and away from sin?!?
i think martin luther said it best when he said, "faith alone saves, but faith that saves is never alone".
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
River of stars...
jus writing a post to announce the arrival of one of my really good mates on the blog scene ;p - shall i say, arrived with a succussion splash?!? in a cytokine storm?!? in a menorrhagic torrent?!? (sorry... i'll cut the corny med talk...) - in a river of stars, no less ;p check out galaxy's blog, entitled "nothings of eternity"...
anyway, things on the mind - had been challenged abt the notion of what is meant by repentance, and what it means in light of God's grace... a really important thing, if u ask me!!! coz repentance is such a core element of the gospel, so crucial a part of Christian living... jus to share what my take on it is, and leave it here, so that this moulded notion can be further challenged, corrected, and refined (plz leave comments!!!)...
-----------
REPENTANCE
i see the way we live - i.e. "making every effort to live in peace with everyone and be holy", loving God above all and each other as ourselves - as being the only true and possible response of a Christian to the gospel... it doesn't mean that we are allowed to go out and deliberately sin... we may sin, as we are still sinners, but this is because of our sinful nature separate from our new identity in Christ... God's grace does not give us the right to sin, but in all cases, because of God's amazing love, His grace is sufficient for our salvation...
so repentance, then, is the way we live... we are to live according to the law with "every effort"... but we are no longer bound by the law... because God has sent Jesus, sin is defeated, the law is overcome, and we no longer live in fear of the consequence of sin... - but it's the amazingness of Jesus, who we know personally, that inspires us towards a life of obedience!!! - so while we no longer fear sin's consequence, we live in greater obedience to God, by living in love, forgiveness and humility... because we are loved, forgiven, and raised with Jesus by God...
so what then of those who still sin?!? - for we are all sinners, with a sinful nature... can we escape the inevitability of sin?!? no, i don't think we can... so we continually need to ask for God's forgiveness... there is a warning against deliberately sinning tho (hebrews 12)... for God's salvation is no licence to sin... but rather a pardon from that which we do, because of our shortcomings... ultimately, faith is in the heart, and what is in our heart is reflected in our action... (thanx sally for helping me with that ;p) - so, in short, while being a Christian requires one simply to believe in Christ Jesus, repentance is still definitely a requirement of Christian living...
------------
anyhow, mind in crazy state atm, i don't know i have a lot of coherent sense to say anything remotely useful or interesting... ;p so, til next time, God bless!!!
love-in-Christ,
dave
anyway, things on the mind - had been challenged abt the notion of what is meant by repentance, and what it means in light of God's grace... a really important thing, if u ask me!!! coz repentance is such a core element of the gospel, so crucial a part of Christian living... jus to share what my take on it is, and leave it here, so that this moulded notion can be further challenged, corrected, and refined (plz leave comments!!!)...
-----------
REPENTANCE
i see the way we live - i.e. "making every effort to live in peace with everyone and be holy", loving God above all and each other as ourselves - as being the only true and possible response of a Christian to the gospel... it doesn't mean that we are allowed to go out and deliberately sin... we may sin, as we are still sinners, but this is because of our sinful nature separate from our new identity in Christ... God's grace does not give us the right to sin, but in all cases, because of God's amazing love, His grace is sufficient for our salvation...
so repentance, then, is the way we live... we are to live according to the law with "every effort"... but we are no longer bound by the law... because God has sent Jesus, sin is defeated, the law is overcome, and we no longer live in fear of the consequence of sin... - but it's the amazingness of Jesus, who we know personally, that inspires us towards a life of obedience!!! - so while we no longer fear sin's consequence, we live in greater obedience to God, by living in love, forgiveness and humility... because we are loved, forgiven, and raised with Jesus by God...
so what then of those who still sin?!? - for we are all sinners, with a sinful nature... can we escape the inevitability of sin?!? no, i don't think we can... so we continually need to ask for God's forgiveness... there is a warning against deliberately sinning tho (hebrews 12)... for God's salvation is no licence to sin... but rather a pardon from that which we do, because of our shortcomings... ultimately, faith is in the heart, and what is in our heart is reflected in our action... (thanx sally for helping me with that ;p) - so, in short, while being a Christian requires one simply to believe in Christ Jesus, repentance is still definitely a requirement of Christian living...
------------
anyhow, mind in crazy state atm, i don't know i have a lot of coherent sense to say anything remotely useful or interesting... ;p so, til next time, God bless!!!
love-in-Christ,
dave
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Bug infested...
am bug infested... big bug overrun with little bugs... they seem to have been having lots of fun with my body in the last week or so... got this picture of little furry bug things running around, and jus randomly going, "let's go over there" - "i wonder what this is" - "ooh, a macrophage!!! run!!!" - "ooh, it's got a multiloculated nucleus, it's a neutrophil!!!" - or "i wonder what we look like under a gram stain..."
bugs have been making me feel hot and cold, giving me generalised muscle aches and pains (these symptoms have resolved so far), intermittent headache, sore throat, taking away my voice (case for those studying for dmf exams?!?) - and it's frustrating for some1 like me, who likes to give his vocal cords regular exercise, not being able to talk!!!
despite all that, so many things to thank God for still ;p
-that i am still alive
-that i can still type
-that i can still whisper
-that other ppl can still talk to me
-that i can listen to their wonderful voices
-that i can still play music
-that i can still do ENT
-that the ear is so intricate
-that i have such great friends
-that i am still happy
-that God has made Sally ;p
-that God has revealed Himself thru Jesus
-that God is so amazing
-that God is so loving
-that God is so wonderful!!!
praise the Lord!!! ;p
bugs have been making me feel hot and cold, giving me generalised muscle aches and pains (these symptoms have resolved so far), intermittent headache, sore throat, taking away my voice (case for those studying for dmf exams?!?) - and it's frustrating for some1 like me, who likes to give his vocal cords regular exercise, not being able to talk!!!
despite all that, so many things to thank God for still ;p
-that i am still alive
-that i can still type
-that i can still whisper
-that other ppl can still talk to me
-that i can listen to their wonderful voices
-that i can still play music
-that i can still do ENT
-that the ear is so intricate
-that i have such great friends
-that i am still happy
-that God has made Sally ;p
-that God has revealed Himself thru Jesus
-that God is so amazing
-that God is so loving
-that God is so wonderful!!!
praise the Lord!!! ;p
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
On physics and job interviews...
one wonders what whim has possessed me to be on blogger at this time, all i can say to answer this is perhaps that i'm simply procrastinating or escaping from the anxiety that should have befallen me by now, seeing that i have my first ever job interview tomorrow!!! royal melbourne intern, imagine that... me, a doctor... one year, even scarier - 7 and a half months, from now, that could well be reality... patients' lives falling into the desperate realm of my responsibility and counsel... a humble fluffy bug doing all he can to heroically thwart the attempts at conquest being made by bugs of a far more sinister kind...
meanwhile, all excited by such stuff, the mind has been contemplating truth of physical reality to the minutest detail - that is, quantum (argh - took me 3 goes to spell that word properly!!!) mechanics... jus finished reading a fascinating account of the search for an accessible interpretation of quantum reality by john gribbin called "schrödinger's kittens"... it culminates in a rather dramatised unveiling of a fairly commonsense interpretation, which is nevertheless very impressive, that is cramer's transactional interpretation...
basically - transactional interpretation tackles the difficulty of explaining quantum reality (as suggested by experiments) by using the following principles:
-time can stand still (it does, for a photon... or anything that "travels" at lightspeed)
-things can be implied to go backwards in time (backwards communication, by virtue of the use of quantum waves to communicate quantum state, is in fact simply atemporal from the point-of-view of the quantum wave - so nothing truly does travel backwards, it's jus happening simultaneously)
-the quantum states of an object and all dependent objects, are simultaneously determined
i'm struggling to come up with a way to make this into an easy explanation... - oh well... but the paradox, anyhow, goes that an electron is within a closed box with a partition that can be moved to close off one half from the other... the electron's position is indeterminate at this stage... the partition is closed, and two identical capsules (one connected to each half of the box) are opened to the box, so that the indeterminate electron will enter one or the other capsule... each capsule contains a diabolical device, which releases a poison gas if it detects the presence of an electron... each capsule also contains a cat, and all the necessary goodies to keep the cats alive (and yes, in these miraculous capsules, telomerase and antioxidants are abundant - these cats don't age!!!)... - each capsule then fires off in opposite directions across the universe, and they end up, say, millions of light-years apart...
tradition says that the electron is in an indeterminate quantum state until the presence of an "intelligent observer" intervenes to "collapse the wave function" into a defined presence or absence of the electron... so, this traditional interpretation has puzzled scientists by implying that each cat is in an indeterminate state (or a superposition of states, both dead and alive simultaneously) until some intelligent observer opens the capsule and consigns one cat to its fate by collapsing the wave function (and simultaneously consigning the other cat, a million light-years away, to the opposite fate)... - einstein called this "spooky action at a distance", and it makes some degree of sense, and, believe it or not, has practical application in instantaneous faster-than-light communication in quantum cryptographic techniques...
but how can stuff travel faster than light?!? this is what so puzzled einstein... and many others... including richard feynman, whose theories regarding the nature of light ironically inspired the transactional interpretation of cramer... - the scenario, in the transactional interpretation, would be that, once an interaction occurs (that is, observation of the cat - because reality for the observer is grounded in observation), the quantum state is communicated backwards in time, through the poison gas, through the diabolical device, through the electron, back to its original box, and then forwards in time again, to the other capsule... - this is possible because quantum states traverse time, and photons and quantum-state waves have no meaning of time - and therefore can seemingly travel backwards (even though no time elapses for them)... the quantum states are, from our viewpoint, collapsed (and consign the distant cat to its fate) - but the quantum reality is that, as far as any conventional time-frame is concerned, one cat was dead all along, and the other was alive all along!!! there was no superposition of states where the cats are both dead and alive...
if this is hard to make sense of, it's probably coz i haven't explained it very well... ;p but anywayz... i better go now... and return from fascinating phenomena of physics to a state of mind where i'm once again contemplating a career as a competent, caring clinician... ;p with Christ as my guide, i shall hopefully be one next year at royal melbourne!!! - wish me luck!!!
God bless,
dave ;p
meanwhile, all excited by such stuff, the mind has been contemplating truth of physical reality to the minutest detail - that is, quantum (argh - took me 3 goes to spell that word properly!!!) mechanics... jus finished reading a fascinating account of the search for an accessible interpretation of quantum reality by john gribbin called "schrödinger's kittens"... it culminates in a rather dramatised unveiling of a fairly commonsense interpretation, which is nevertheless very impressive, that is cramer's transactional interpretation...
basically - transactional interpretation tackles the difficulty of explaining quantum reality (as suggested by experiments) by using the following principles:
-time can stand still (it does, for a photon... or anything that "travels" at lightspeed)
-things can be implied to go backwards in time (backwards communication, by virtue of the use of quantum waves to communicate quantum state, is in fact simply atemporal from the point-of-view of the quantum wave - so nothing truly does travel backwards, it's jus happening simultaneously)
-the quantum states of an object and all dependent objects, are simultaneously determined
i'm struggling to come up with a way to make this into an easy explanation... - oh well... but the paradox, anyhow, goes that an electron is within a closed box with a partition that can be moved to close off one half from the other... the electron's position is indeterminate at this stage... the partition is closed, and two identical capsules (one connected to each half of the box) are opened to the box, so that the indeterminate electron will enter one or the other capsule... each capsule contains a diabolical device, which releases a poison gas if it detects the presence of an electron... each capsule also contains a cat, and all the necessary goodies to keep the cats alive (and yes, in these miraculous capsules, telomerase and antioxidants are abundant - these cats don't age!!!)... - each capsule then fires off in opposite directions across the universe, and they end up, say, millions of light-years apart...
tradition says that the electron is in an indeterminate quantum state until the presence of an "intelligent observer" intervenes to "collapse the wave function" into a defined presence or absence of the electron... so, this traditional interpretation has puzzled scientists by implying that each cat is in an indeterminate state (or a superposition of states, both dead and alive simultaneously) until some intelligent observer opens the capsule and consigns one cat to its fate by collapsing the wave function (and simultaneously consigning the other cat, a million light-years away, to the opposite fate)... - einstein called this "spooky action at a distance", and it makes some degree of sense, and, believe it or not, has practical application in instantaneous faster-than-light communication in quantum cryptographic techniques...
but how can stuff travel faster than light?!? this is what so puzzled einstein... and many others... including richard feynman, whose theories regarding the nature of light ironically inspired the transactional interpretation of cramer... - the scenario, in the transactional interpretation, would be that, once an interaction occurs (that is, observation of the cat - because reality for the observer is grounded in observation), the quantum state is communicated backwards in time, through the poison gas, through the diabolical device, through the electron, back to its original box, and then forwards in time again, to the other capsule... - this is possible because quantum states traverse time, and photons and quantum-state waves have no meaning of time - and therefore can seemingly travel backwards (even though no time elapses for them)... the quantum states are, from our viewpoint, collapsed (and consign the distant cat to its fate) - but the quantum reality is that, as far as any conventional time-frame is concerned, one cat was dead all along, and the other was alive all along!!! there was no superposition of states where the cats are both dead and alive...
if this is hard to make sense of, it's probably coz i haven't explained it very well... ;p but anywayz... i better go now... and return from fascinating phenomena of physics to a state of mind where i'm once again contemplating a career as a competent, caring clinician... ;p with Christ as my guide, i shall hopefully be one next year at royal melbourne!!! - wish me luck!!!
God bless,
dave ;p
Monday, May 16, 2005
Tiredness... but happy ;p
had a wonderful weekend of relaxation and fun!!! went to beaufort with a group of uni ppl, trekked around a bit on mt cole, and had some nice food... were there to also see the hospital (beaufort still has a nice hospital with comprehensive range of ancillary services in addition to general practice, despite being such a small town) and talk with some of the staff there, to get a feel for what rural practice involves and so on... ;p
was a great escape tho!!! on the back of a busy psych rotation, it's nice jus to have a change of scenery and not have to worry about anxiety, depression, substance abuse, psychosis, eating disorders and suicidality for a change... especially good was to finally have some quality time with sally and jus enjoy each other's company for a while, to know and appreciate in each other the qualities God has blessed us with, without so many other things on our minds... we have too few moments like this... 's the problem when we're both jus such busy ppl!!! (yes, med can be mad...) still hanging in mood for a break now, not particularly itching to return to study!!!
-----
to now respond to request for the recipe for long-case success:
despite popular advice, long-cases aren't what you do from day to day in the ward with patients once you start working... in the real world, rapport and friendliness are paramount, to gain the trust of the patient, to ensure that your alliance is one forged on honesty and genuine care, and to bring about some simple therapeutic effect thru the wonderful healing power of human interaction...
long-cases, on the other hand, are meant to be a systematic, short-lived chance for you, as medical student, to demonstrate to examiners that you can obtain and organise information from a patient about him or herself to conform to a structure, such that others in the profession can rapidly understand and anticipate your thinking and clinical judgement... there is far less importance placed on rapport and friendliness - instead clinical precision is what's required...
so what's the recipe?!? - you could get any patient at all, so don't start off with the patient in your head... you'll put this together in a structured fashion as you do your history and examination... you start off with a bony structure that goes something like:
-opening statement - name, age, ethnicity, occupation (or social support modality), lives where, with whom, presenting with (insert brief one-phrase summary of history of presenting complaint) on a background of (insert most salient features of background history)...
-history of presenting illness - chronology is important and probably the best way to organise this info... pick an important event (or when the patient was last well) in the recent past and go thru the steps of detailing the key symptoms and outlining relevant symptom groups... detail is very important here - don't spend forever on it, but this is one area where you cannot afford to cut content... make sure also to put some detail in here abt possible precipitants...
-relevant history - recent, longstanding, or pertinent episodes, conditions or operations... make sure to talk about indications, course of illness, treatment (especially recent changes in medications) and prognosis of all relevant conditions... - the key word here is "relevant"... you should highlight relevant conditions first before going onto the next section...
-past history - all the rest of the medical/surgical history that's not relevant to the case at hand... this is more-or-less a list, and little detail is required...
-medications - i like to put medications here, but this may go immediately after history of presenting complaint if, for example, the recent illness has been triggered by a change in medication, or a side effect of medication... alternatively, medications may hold little relevance, in which case a passing comment is sufficient (e.g. this patient is not currently on any medications)... in any case though, especially at this stage, no medication should ever be dismissed as trivial, and all details should be obtained as much as possible (i.e. what medication, how much, when to take, how long they've been on, indication, side effects, and patient's adherence to prescription)... don't forget over-the-counter medications...
-smoking/drugs/alcohol - i put these all together... like medications, if particularly relevant, this can be put immediately after the history of presenting complaint... remember that detail is important, and examiners usually don't like the use of the term "social drinker", or "occasional user"... if possible, give an idea of how often and how much... and if dependency is a possibility, go through symptoms of dependency, pattern of use (morning drinking, for example), how central patient's life is around the drug, withdrawal symptoms, past overdoses, attempts at quitting, thoughts about quitting... if illicit drugs, be wary and suspicious and make the connection with crime, especially for the more lucrative ones such as cocaine and heroin... forensic history can follow this too, if relevant...
-family history - this is cursory... don't get confused and start talking about the complex developments in the patient's family life... family history simply means genogram of immediate family (i.e. family structure), causes of death if any, family function (do they live together, or parents divorced, for example) and presence or absence of any particularly relevant medical conditions or operations within the immediate and extended family...
-social history - talk about educational, occupational, social development and current status here... tailor detail level depending again on how relevant you judge the information to be... most importantly, since social history often encapsulates the essence of the person's day-to-day routines, this is where one of the most important issues of illness and its impact may be highlighted... i'm referring, of course, to functional impairment... it's difficult to overstress how important and useful an outline of functional impairment can be, especially within the context of a patient's life and the things the patient regards as important to him or her...
-developmental history - can be relevant also, particularly in psych patients... talk about pregnancy, birth, early years (milestones), separation anxiety, primary and secondary academic, sporting achievements, and socialisation at school... family environment at home (high expressed emotion, for example, can play a part in the incidence of relapse of psychosis) or any particularly relevant losses during the patient's childhood should be commented on...
-systems review - optional, but often encouraged to be put in here... most frequently, it's jus a heading to show that you've done systematic questioning about other health issues... almost always, you'll say "systems review was unremarkable" (because if you picked up anything relevant, you'll have put it earlier in your history)
-risk - keep this in mind when you're interviewing, especially if patient is depressed or has chronic pain or chronic illness... risk is about risk to self, to others, of absconding, and of non-adherence to treatment... insight into the patient's condition may be of particular note...
okay, you now have a backbone... this is to be stored in the head, and if possible, written down on a proforma just moments before you see the patient... in the interview, ensure that the patient is comfortable at the start, because you'll be putting a lot of pressure on him/her with all your questioning!!!
how to question in a long-case is very different from seeing patients as a continuing care doctor... it's more like seeing them at a once-off visit, where you need to make a diagnosis quickly and arrange a bare-bones treatment plan you know will work, and you never see the patient again... what i'm saying is that a big emphasis on rapport and empathy is not going to help!!! (of course, be sensitive, but let them know that you're going to ask a lot of questions in a short amount of time - and just do that)... - you want to keep in charge of the interview, no matter what...
i'd suggest starting by asking lots of closed questions to fill in the opening statement (what's your name, how old are you, are you living at home, who's at home with you, are you currently working etc), patients expect you to ask these anyway...
from there on, direct the interview to the current situation with a question like, "what problem has brought you to hospital?" or "what has been happening in your life recently?" - then, keep focusing on the current issue... if the patient starts straying, don't let them stray too much into the past, unless they're clearly feeding you very relevant information (like the course of their ulcerative colitis for a patient who's presented for rectal bleeding, for example)... if the patient says anything very striking, e.g. they mention pain, then jump on it and keep asking specific details about that symptom until you've fully characterised it... when the patient has given you a good picture abt the presenting illness, then review with specific questioning any relevant symptoms they haven't described (so, if they've talked a lot about the headache, then ask about any loss of consciousness, faintness, weakness, numbness/tingling, visual problems, hearing problems, photophobia, neck stiffness etc)...
steer the interview then to focus on medications, or past medical history (whichever you feel is more likely to be relevant to the case based on what you know so far), and explore each of those areas in detail... remember to separate medications into "now", "used in past", "recently changed"... and remember to ask about adherence to medications... remember to separate past medical history into relevant and less-relevant... and present the relevant ones in detail, but the less-relevant bits as no more than a list...
continue in this fashion, asking lots of specific questions and keeping the patient on track, sticking to the skeleton outlined earlier...
make a point of considering the other important issues throughout as being functional impairment and risk (see later)...
when it comes to physical examination, remember that the most important step is inspection!!! the reasons why - you should give the examiners a very good idea of what the patient looked like (describe both general appearance and behaviour, in addition to any signs you looked for specifically)... so, something like "Kim was a young-looking woman of Chinese ethnicity, lying on the bed wearing a hospital gown with 2 pillows and the head of the bed raised to 45 degrees... she looked uncomfortable and appeared cyanotic, with bluish lips, and was wheezing... she had two ventolin inhalers lying on her bedside table..."
then, given limited time only in the exam, you should go straight for the examinations that you anticipate you'd have findings... quick hand-inspection is always worthwhile... as are all vital signs (get temperature from chart if you don't have a thermometer)... oximetry and blood glucose are also extremely valuable in most settings...
risk assessment - a section you're only formally taught about in psychiatry, but is quite important for all long-cases really... risk assessment should elaborate in features of the history if they are already prominent there, but needs to be stated here separately, because it is so important... risk assessment consists of four main elements (for inpatients) - risk of self-harm, risk of harm to others, risk of absconding, risk of non-adherence... these four aspects have to be detailed in terms of current and past relevant thoughts and behaviours (e.g. high level of suicidal ideation currently, but no previous attempts)... if there is a positive past history of suicide attempts, then detail the method, intent and setting...
formulation/summary - don't simply repeat your opening statement, but recap it... this is where you start to present interpretation... up until now, you have done absolutely no interpretation, not made any diagnoses or anything, except that you would have done well to have presented it in a manner that shows that you understand the patient and their illness (show this by the way you group symptoms and examination findings, and the relevant negatives you talk about - also, don't neglect the all-important symptom of functional impairment)...
structure of formulation - you should talk about predisposing, precipitating, perpetuating and protective factors, in that order... make these quick, with maximum of 2 sentences for each category (preferably one sentence for each)...
diagnoses are last... followed by management... remember that principles are most important, so rather than diagnosing asthma immediately (unless it's obvious), then you should say something like "my differentials include all causes of acute respiratory distress, in this case, most likely asthma, but could also be bronchiolitis or pneumonia..."
better go now... may write more later... but have tute!!! ;p get lots of practice, and happy long-casing!!!
God bless,
dave
was a great escape tho!!! on the back of a busy psych rotation, it's nice jus to have a change of scenery and not have to worry about anxiety, depression, substance abuse, psychosis, eating disorders and suicidality for a change... especially good was to finally have some quality time with sally and jus enjoy each other's company for a while, to know and appreciate in each other the qualities God has blessed us with, without so many other things on our minds... we have too few moments like this... 's the problem when we're both jus such busy ppl!!! (yes, med can be mad...) still hanging in mood for a break now, not particularly itching to return to study!!!
-----
to now respond to request for the recipe for long-case success:
despite popular advice, long-cases aren't what you do from day to day in the ward with patients once you start working... in the real world, rapport and friendliness are paramount, to gain the trust of the patient, to ensure that your alliance is one forged on honesty and genuine care, and to bring about some simple therapeutic effect thru the wonderful healing power of human interaction...
long-cases, on the other hand, are meant to be a systematic, short-lived chance for you, as medical student, to demonstrate to examiners that you can obtain and organise information from a patient about him or herself to conform to a structure, such that others in the profession can rapidly understand and anticipate your thinking and clinical judgement... there is far less importance placed on rapport and friendliness - instead clinical precision is what's required...
so what's the recipe?!? - you could get any patient at all, so don't start off with the patient in your head... you'll put this together in a structured fashion as you do your history and examination... you start off with a bony structure that goes something like:
-opening statement - name, age, ethnicity, occupation (or social support modality), lives where, with whom, presenting with (insert brief one-phrase summary of history of presenting complaint) on a background of (insert most salient features of background history)...
-history of presenting illness - chronology is important and probably the best way to organise this info... pick an important event (or when the patient was last well) in the recent past and go thru the steps of detailing the key symptoms and outlining relevant symptom groups... detail is very important here - don't spend forever on it, but this is one area where you cannot afford to cut content... make sure also to put some detail in here abt possible precipitants...
-relevant history - recent, longstanding, or pertinent episodes, conditions or operations... make sure to talk about indications, course of illness, treatment (especially recent changes in medications) and prognosis of all relevant conditions... - the key word here is "relevant"... you should highlight relevant conditions first before going onto the next section...
-past history - all the rest of the medical/surgical history that's not relevant to the case at hand... this is more-or-less a list, and little detail is required...
-medications - i like to put medications here, but this may go immediately after history of presenting complaint if, for example, the recent illness has been triggered by a change in medication, or a side effect of medication... alternatively, medications may hold little relevance, in which case a passing comment is sufficient (e.g. this patient is not currently on any medications)... in any case though, especially at this stage, no medication should ever be dismissed as trivial, and all details should be obtained as much as possible (i.e. what medication, how much, when to take, how long they've been on, indication, side effects, and patient's adherence to prescription)... don't forget over-the-counter medications...
-smoking/drugs/alcohol - i put these all together... like medications, if particularly relevant, this can be put immediately after the history of presenting complaint... remember that detail is important, and examiners usually don't like the use of the term "social drinker", or "occasional user"... if possible, give an idea of how often and how much... and if dependency is a possibility, go through symptoms of dependency, pattern of use (morning drinking, for example), how central patient's life is around the drug, withdrawal symptoms, past overdoses, attempts at quitting, thoughts about quitting... if illicit drugs, be wary and suspicious and make the connection with crime, especially for the more lucrative ones such as cocaine and heroin... forensic history can follow this too, if relevant...
-family history - this is cursory... don't get confused and start talking about the complex developments in the patient's family life... family history simply means genogram of immediate family (i.e. family structure), causes of death if any, family function (do they live together, or parents divorced, for example) and presence or absence of any particularly relevant medical conditions or operations within the immediate and extended family...
-social history - talk about educational, occupational, social development and current status here... tailor detail level depending again on how relevant you judge the information to be... most importantly, since social history often encapsulates the essence of the person's day-to-day routines, this is where one of the most important issues of illness and its impact may be highlighted... i'm referring, of course, to functional impairment... it's difficult to overstress how important and useful an outline of functional impairment can be, especially within the context of a patient's life and the things the patient regards as important to him or her...
-developmental history - can be relevant also, particularly in psych patients... talk about pregnancy, birth, early years (milestones), separation anxiety, primary and secondary academic, sporting achievements, and socialisation at school... family environment at home (high expressed emotion, for example, can play a part in the incidence of relapse of psychosis) or any particularly relevant losses during the patient's childhood should be commented on...
-systems review - optional, but often encouraged to be put in here... most frequently, it's jus a heading to show that you've done systematic questioning about other health issues... almost always, you'll say "systems review was unremarkable" (because if you picked up anything relevant, you'll have put it earlier in your history)
-risk - keep this in mind when you're interviewing, especially if patient is depressed or has chronic pain or chronic illness... risk is about risk to self, to others, of absconding, and of non-adherence to treatment... insight into the patient's condition may be of particular note...
okay, you now have a backbone... this is to be stored in the head, and if possible, written down on a proforma just moments before you see the patient... in the interview, ensure that the patient is comfortable at the start, because you'll be putting a lot of pressure on him/her with all your questioning!!!
how to question in a long-case is very different from seeing patients as a continuing care doctor... it's more like seeing them at a once-off visit, where you need to make a diagnosis quickly and arrange a bare-bones treatment plan you know will work, and you never see the patient again... what i'm saying is that a big emphasis on rapport and empathy is not going to help!!! (of course, be sensitive, but let them know that you're going to ask a lot of questions in a short amount of time - and just do that)... - you want to keep in charge of the interview, no matter what...
i'd suggest starting by asking lots of closed questions to fill in the opening statement (what's your name, how old are you, are you living at home, who's at home with you, are you currently working etc), patients expect you to ask these anyway...
from there on, direct the interview to the current situation with a question like, "what problem has brought you to hospital?" or "what has been happening in your life recently?" - then, keep focusing on the current issue... if the patient starts straying, don't let them stray too much into the past, unless they're clearly feeding you very relevant information (like the course of their ulcerative colitis for a patient who's presented for rectal bleeding, for example)... if the patient says anything very striking, e.g. they mention pain, then jump on it and keep asking specific details about that symptom until you've fully characterised it... when the patient has given you a good picture abt the presenting illness, then review with specific questioning any relevant symptoms they haven't described (so, if they've talked a lot about the headache, then ask about any loss of consciousness, faintness, weakness, numbness/tingling, visual problems, hearing problems, photophobia, neck stiffness etc)...
steer the interview then to focus on medications, or past medical history (whichever you feel is more likely to be relevant to the case based on what you know so far), and explore each of those areas in detail... remember to separate medications into "now", "used in past", "recently changed"... and remember to ask about adherence to medications... remember to separate past medical history into relevant and less-relevant... and present the relevant ones in detail, but the less-relevant bits as no more than a list...
continue in this fashion, asking lots of specific questions and keeping the patient on track, sticking to the skeleton outlined earlier...
make a point of considering the other important issues throughout as being functional impairment and risk (see later)...
when it comes to physical examination, remember that the most important step is inspection!!! the reasons why - you should give the examiners a very good idea of what the patient looked like (describe both general appearance and behaviour, in addition to any signs you looked for specifically)... so, something like "Kim was a young-looking woman of Chinese ethnicity, lying on the bed wearing a hospital gown with 2 pillows and the head of the bed raised to 45 degrees... she looked uncomfortable and appeared cyanotic, with bluish lips, and was wheezing... she had two ventolin inhalers lying on her bedside table..."
then, given limited time only in the exam, you should go straight for the examinations that you anticipate you'd have findings... quick hand-inspection is always worthwhile... as are all vital signs (get temperature from chart if you don't have a thermometer)... oximetry and blood glucose are also extremely valuable in most settings...
risk assessment - a section you're only formally taught about in psychiatry, but is quite important for all long-cases really... risk assessment should elaborate in features of the history if they are already prominent there, but needs to be stated here separately, because it is so important... risk assessment consists of four main elements (for inpatients) - risk of self-harm, risk of harm to others, risk of absconding, risk of non-adherence... these four aspects have to be detailed in terms of current and past relevant thoughts and behaviours (e.g. high level of suicidal ideation currently, but no previous attempts)... if there is a positive past history of suicide attempts, then detail the method, intent and setting...
formulation/summary - don't simply repeat your opening statement, but recap it... this is where you start to present interpretation... up until now, you have done absolutely no interpretation, not made any diagnoses or anything, except that you would have done well to have presented it in a manner that shows that you understand the patient and their illness (show this by the way you group symptoms and examination findings, and the relevant negatives you talk about - also, don't neglect the all-important symptom of functional impairment)...
structure of formulation - you should talk about predisposing, precipitating, perpetuating and protective factors, in that order... make these quick, with maximum of 2 sentences for each category (preferably one sentence for each)...
diagnoses are last... followed by management... remember that principles are most important, so rather than diagnosing asthma immediately (unless it's obvious), then you should say something like "my differentials include all causes of acute respiratory distress, in this case, most likely asthma, but could also be bronchiolitis or pneumonia..."
better go now... may write more later... but have tute!!! ;p get lots of practice, and happy long-casing!!!
God bless,
dave
Friday, May 13, 2005
Relaxation time...
hey all ;p long time - no post... been kinda busy lately, had the concert yesterday and an exam today... really glad the exam's over!!! a cloud casting a shadow over my head lifted, and allowing the light of enjoyment to truly re-enter and bathe me once more... ;p not that things haven't been enjoyable... ;p
concert went mostly swimmingly - awesome solos by julien, sally (go sal!!! the brahms was excellent!!!), matt/kat/julie and linda ;p sure missed out if u didn't come along...
today's exam - hmmmz... went better than i anticipated actually... to be honest, wasn't really sure what to expect or how i would go... had been warned abt the patient with a long history with multiple past admissions and millions of treatments that don't work... coz they're so difficult to interview, examine and present in the time allocated, and apparently most medical students fall right into the traps laid bare with a case like this (if u want tips on how to successfully negotiate such a patient, will be happy to write something on that in maybe my next post or sth)... and guess what - i get one of those patients!!! not his fault of course, God bless him, and really wishing him all the best in finding an effective, stable treatment for his illness...
managed to present the full case in 10 minutes (yay!!!) and answer most of the examiners' questions... a couple of them were pretty obscure for a student who comes out clueless from a 6-week psych crash-course (that's pretty much how it felt)... but oh well... nothing i can do abt it now... but overall, quite ok with how i went, i suppose... praise and thanx to God for pulling me thru!!! ;p
anywayz... - i think it's jus reminded me that, thru the difficulties, challenges and criticism, these are jus some of God's way of refining us into the people He has set aside for Himself... ;p God amazes me, that He can use the things we dislike in this world, and make them positive influences on us!!!
now to look forward to a weekend of relaxation ;p
concert went mostly swimmingly - awesome solos by julien, sally (go sal!!! the brahms was excellent!!!), matt/kat/julie and linda ;p sure missed out if u didn't come along...
today's exam - hmmmz... went better than i anticipated actually... to be honest, wasn't really sure what to expect or how i would go... had been warned abt the patient with a long history with multiple past admissions and millions of treatments that don't work... coz they're so difficult to interview, examine and present in the time allocated, and apparently most medical students fall right into the traps laid bare with a case like this (if u want tips on how to successfully negotiate such a patient, will be happy to write something on that in maybe my next post or sth)... and guess what - i get one of those patients!!! not his fault of course, God bless him, and really wishing him all the best in finding an effective, stable treatment for his illness...
managed to present the full case in 10 minutes (yay!!!) and answer most of the examiners' questions... a couple of them were pretty obscure for a student who comes out clueless from a 6-week psych crash-course (that's pretty much how it felt)... but oh well... nothing i can do abt it now... but overall, quite ok with how i went, i suppose... praise and thanx to God for pulling me thru!!! ;p
anywayz... - i think it's jus reminded me that, thru the difficulties, challenges and criticism, these are jus some of God's way of refining us into the people He has set aside for Himself... ;p God amazes me, that He can use the things we dislike in this world, and make them positive influences on us!!!
now to look forward to a weekend of relaxation ;p
1 Peter 1:3-9
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Random writing...
trying this exercise of typing with no real agenda at all, jus whatever comes to mind... it's quite strange, coz i'm trying not to stop typing all the while, coz if i stop, i give myself time to think and defeat the purpose of the exercise... oh well... anywayz...
today was last day of missionary convention, celebrated at our church... we played violin in the orchestra as part of the worship, which was really quite an enjoyable thing... they're encouraging impro, altho most of the time we have long notes and stuff, it's fun jus playing whatever comes to mind and trying to fudge it so it still sounds good and fits well with whatever the singers are singing etc... the band seems to be really quite experienced at the whole impro thing, but violins, errmmm... me, hmmmz - i've done some piano improv, but violin is so different - only one note, and have to fit in with everyone else... think i caught myself playing quite a few strange notes in the middle, but somehow think God must've intervened and made it sound ok to the audience ;p God is wonderful!!! but there were five other violinists in addition, so maybe my strange notes were blended in amongst their proper harmonies ;p always a good thing abt playing in orchestra, you're able to make some mistakes and still sound ok...
the message, brought by david cook (from a sydney bible college), was one that was really powerful and reminded me of my calling to Christ through a book called "a fresh start" by gary chapman... was based on a passage from romans 10, where it talks about the contrast between God's truths and what the Israelites, zealous though they were for God, believed would bring them closer to God... the mistake the Israelites made was believing that the way to God was through obedience to the law, which is impossible to achieve by any human... this is similar to the blueprint followed by most religions in the world (in fact, probably all religions apart from true Biblical Christianity), which are based on the "do" principle - i.e. you must do something to be made right with God... Biblical Christianity, on the other hand, is based on the "done" principle - i.e. God has already done all that was needed through Jesus in order to bring us back to Him... (this contrast was first brought to my attention in that awesome green book that helped bring me back to Christ nearly two years ago!!!)
there are a few things, i suppose, that can be said to elaborate on this...
-firstly, the rift that was made between man and God was initiated by original sin in the garden of Eden... this was man's rebellion, and while we are trapped by law, we are enslaved by sin... this is one reason we are unable, because of the entrapment, to fully obey the law, and are dooming ourselves to failure if this is the way that we choose to make ourselves right with God again...
-secondly, since this is an impossible task for us, who then should the law pertain to if it isn't issued for our own salvation?!? it points directly to Jesus - the one who was able to uphold the law, for He alone is righteous of all ppl on earth!!! this is the reason why the law was given... instead of us trying to make superhuman efforts to make ourselves right with God by the law, we ought to trust and have faith in Jesus, who is God's bridge to us, the way to make ourselves right with Him... He came down to earth, we don't need to try to ascend to Him in heaven... we need not fear death either, for Jesus has defeated death, and we can see this by His resurrection...
-thirdly, the story of everything, from creation through history through to the future, is God's story... God is at the centre of everything, and ought to be the centre, the focus, of our lives also... Jesus, by overcoming death through love, humility, righteousness and sacrifice, is God's love gift to the world!!! what a wonderful thing it is, that God should love us so, all the more glory and praise to Him who deserves all honour!!! God sits upon His throne ;p the Holy king of the universe ;p
what then is there for us to do?!? we ought to remove ourselves from the centre of our own lives, and stop trying to win God's approval through observation of the law alone, for such attemps only prove futile... we ought to simply place our faith in Jesus, the way that God has provided, and put Him at the centre of our lives, responding fully in love for God and for one another, in the way that Jesus has taught us through his exemplary life and teaching... how are you going to respond to Jesus?!?
today was last day of missionary convention, celebrated at our church... we played violin in the orchestra as part of the worship, which was really quite an enjoyable thing... they're encouraging impro, altho most of the time we have long notes and stuff, it's fun jus playing whatever comes to mind and trying to fudge it so it still sounds good and fits well with whatever the singers are singing etc... the band seems to be really quite experienced at the whole impro thing, but violins, errmmm... me, hmmmz - i've done some piano improv, but violin is so different - only one note, and have to fit in with everyone else... think i caught myself playing quite a few strange notes in the middle, but somehow think God must've intervened and made it sound ok to the audience ;p God is wonderful!!! but there were five other violinists in addition, so maybe my strange notes were blended in amongst their proper harmonies ;p always a good thing abt playing in orchestra, you're able to make some mistakes and still sound ok...
the message, brought by david cook (from a sydney bible college), was one that was really powerful and reminded me of my calling to Christ through a book called "a fresh start" by gary chapman... was based on a passage from romans 10, where it talks about the contrast between God's truths and what the Israelites, zealous though they were for God, believed would bring them closer to God... the mistake the Israelites made was believing that the way to God was through obedience to the law, which is impossible to achieve by any human... this is similar to the blueprint followed by most religions in the world (in fact, probably all religions apart from true Biblical Christianity), which are based on the "do" principle - i.e. you must do something to be made right with God... Biblical Christianity, on the other hand, is based on the "done" principle - i.e. God has already done all that was needed through Jesus in order to bring us back to Him... (this contrast was first brought to my attention in that awesome green book that helped bring me back to Christ nearly two years ago!!!)
there are a few things, i suppose, that can be said to elaborate on this...
-firstly, the rift that was made between man and God was initiated by original sin in the garden of Eden... this was man's rebellion, and while we are trapped by law, we are enslaved by sin... this is one reason we are unable, because of the entrapment, to fully obey the law, and are dooming ourselves to failure if this is the way that we choose to make ourselves right with God again...
-secondly, since this is an impossible task for us, who then should the law pertain to if it isn't issued for our own salvation?!? it points directly to Jesus - the one who was able to uphold the law, for He alone is righteous of all ppl on earth!!! this is the reason why the law was given... instead of us trying to make superhuman efforts to make ourselves right with God by the law, we ought to trust and have faith in Jesus, who is God's bridge to us, the way to make ourselves right with Him... He came down to earth, we don't need to try to ascend to Him in heaven... we need not fear death either, for Jesus has defeated death, and we can see this by His resurrection...
-thirdly, the story of everything, from creation through history through to the future, is God's story... God is at the centre of everything, and ought to be the centre, the focus, of our lives also... Jesus, by overcoming death through love, humility, righteousness and sacrifice, is God's love gift to the world!!! what a wonderful thing it is, that God should love us so, all the more glory and praise to Him who deserves all honour!!! God sits upon His throne ;p the Holy king of the universe ;p
what then is there for us to do?!? we ought to remove ourselves from the centre of our own lives, and stop trying to win God's approval through observation of the law alone, for such attemps only prove futile... we ought to simply place our faith in Jesus, the way that God has provided, and put Him at the centre of our lives, responding fully in love for God and for one another, in the way that Jesus has taught us through his exemplary life and teaching... how are you going to respond to Jesus?!?
Romans 10:1-17
1Brothers, my heart's desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be saved. 2For I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge. 3Since they did not know the righteousness that comes from God and sought to establish their own, they did not submit to God's righteousness. 4Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes.
5Moses describes in this way the righteousness that is by the law: "The man who does these things will live by them." 6But the righteousness that is by faith says: "Do not say in your heart, 'Who will ascend into heaven?'" (that is, to bring Christ down) 7"or 'Who will descend into the deep?'" (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). 8But what does it say? "The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart," that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: 9That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 11As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." 12For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."
14How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"
16But not all the Israelites accepted the good news. For Isaiah says, "Lord, who has believed our message?" 17Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Strange day...
;p trying to think of a title for this post... inevitably, this has a title by the time you read it, so what's going on in my head at the moment might be a rather confusing, redundant ramble that won't really interest you anyway... so without further ado, i'll go on to describe a really strange day ;p
relatives have arrived here yesterday - seven of them, all of whom are my mum's siblings (there are 11 brothers/sisters total), are all staying at our place!!! somehow this seems to still work... only greeted them this morning, after being woken at 4am, and being grumpy, due to being unable to get back to sleep for quite a while... somehow was still able to exchange pleasantries, as is customary... ;p
set off today for train, miss intended train, and have to wait... get on train, conscious of running late to my 9am tute, but seemingly unfazed... miss tram at flagstaff and wait for ages, adding to degree of lateness... next tram comes, i see sandra on board - so good chance to catch up - incidentally, first of some bizarre bump-into-ppl things today... after sms'ing several ppl to inform of my impending lateness, i turn up only to find that not only am i the only student to turn up, but that the tutor has cancelled the tute too!!! feel much like idiot at this time, later learning that i ought to have been in the camp of the other students who either forgot, slept in, or were off with some other psych team... yeh, i could've slept in!!!
ah well... anywayz, get to rmh, in unmotivated, sulky mood, trying to cheer up self by reading blogs ;p yah... anyhow, cath turns up and tries to motivate me... she succeeds, we set off to interview a patient... on the way, bump-into-ppl thing happens and we see eunice and mark (haven't seen mark for yonks!!!) who take the opportunity to talk to us abt long cases... all those of u who are doing long cases in 5th yr, don't panic!!! - key elements are a thorough history, presented with "some structure" (you'll learn so many different structures, you'll get confused, but so long as you have some structure, u'll be fine), a focused physical examination (yes, really focus on what you expect to find given the history!!!), and topped off with an ability to ramble indefinitely if need be... ;p
anyhow, i digress... we continued on our way to ward... and meet a patient who happens to have all these roundabout connections to both myself and cath!!! we end up really connecting because of these coincidence things, and have heaps of fun really... shall discuss no further, lest i risk incriminating myself and breaking the hippocratic oath re: confidentiality... anyhow, really pray for her (our patient), she's really got a lot to live for!!!
finally have a good tute, my presentation went well (see, if i can do a long case, even tho it's psych, anyone can!!!) ;p some really helpful tips from tutor abt organisation of the psych presentation (e.g. grouping by diagnostic criteria, refined focus in mse)...
after tutes, wind up at uni, sally has to pick up this book, and the librarian asks about christian union... ;p so that's really awesome, she and sally get talking, and turns out they know some ppl in common, and are attending the same b'day party 2moro nite!!! coinkidink?!? or what?!? ;p God really has demonstrated His awesome reign and wonderful sense of humour today, i tell u!!! - so much so i had to indulge in half a pack of m&m's...
had some wonderful dinner... looking to start planning for next yr (yes, next yr already...) - but ought to sort out car troubles... hope it can be fixed in time for beaufort trip!!! mind tripping atm... need sleep... (get out of overdrive... haha... before i self-diagnose mania or schizoaffective disorder or something...)
God bless ;p
dave
relatives have arrived here yesterday - seven of them, all of whom are my mum's siblings (there are 11 brothers/sisters total), are all staying at our place!!! somehow this seems to still work... only greeted them this morning, after being woken at 4am, and being grumpy, due to being unable to get back to sleep for quite a while... somehow was still able to exchange pleasantries, as is customary... ;p
set off today for train, miss intended train, and have to wait... get on train, conscious of running late to my 9am tute, but seemingly unfazed... miss tram at flagstaff and wait for ages, adding to degree of lateness... next tram comes, i see sandra on board - so good chance to catch up - incidentally, first of some bizarre bump-into-ppl things today... after sms'ing several ppl to inform of my impending lateness, i turn up only to find that not only am i the only student to turn up, but that the tutor has cancelled the tute too!!! feel much like idiot at this time, later learning that i ought to have been in the camp of the other students who either forgot, slept in, or were off with some other psych team... yeh, i could've slept in!!!
ah well... anywayz, get to rmh, in unmotivated, sulky mood, trying to cheer up self by reading blogs ;p yah... anyhow, cath turns up and tries to motivate me... she succeeds, we set off to interview a patient... on the way, bump-into-ppl thing happens and we see eunice and mark (haven't seen mark for yonks!!!) who take the opportunity to talk to us abt long cases... all those of u who are doing long cases in 5th yr, don't panic!!! - key elements are a thorough history, presented with "some structure" (you'll learn so many different structures, you'll get confused, but so long as you have some structure, u'll be fine), a focused physical examination (yes, really focus on what you expect to find given the history!!!), and topped off with an ability to ramble indefinitely if need be... ;p
anyhow, i digress... we continued on our way to ward... and meet a patient who happens to have all these roundabout connections to both myself and cath!!! we end up really connecting because of these coincidence things, and have heaps of fun really... shall discuss no further, lest i risk incriminating myself and breaking the hippocratic oath re: confidentiality... anyhow, really pray for her (our patient), she's really got a lot to live for!!!
finally have a good tute, my presentation went well (see, if i can do a long case, even tho it's psych, anyone can!!!) ;p some really helpful tips from tutor abt organisation of the psych presentation (e.g. grouping by diagnostic criteria, refined focus in mse)...
after tutes, wind up at uni, sally has to pick up this book, and the librarian asks about christian union... ;p so that's really awesome, she and sally get talking, and turns out they know some ppl in common, and are attending the same b'day party 2moro nite!!! coinkidink?!? or what?!? ;p God really has demonstrated His awesome reign and wonderful sense of humour today, i tell u!!! - so much so i had to indulge in half a pack of m&m's...
had some wonderful dinner... looking to start planning for next yr (yes, next yr already...) - but ought to sort out car troubles... hope it can be fixed in time for beaufort trip!!! mind tripping atm... need sleep... (get out of overdrive... haha... before i self-diagnose mania or schizoaffective disorder or something...)
God bless ;p
dave
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