Meme time...

no, this really ought to be exam-study-sleep time... but yeh, got this off jim's blog, via sal's blog... ;p how i let myself waste time like this is almost beyond me...

God bless,
dave

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FIRSTS
First break-up: december 99 (how freaky, same for me, jim... tho my answer should more accurately, but less precisely, be 2nd half of 1999...)
First screenname: alleycat (wow, brings back memories)
First self purchased album: jebs - of someday shambles
First funeral: my trumpet teacher... i hardly learnt trumpet, but my brother did for quite some time...
First piercing/tattoo: never
First true love: believe in this one... ;p

LASTS
Last car ride: back home with shaz jus a couple of hours ago
Last french kiss: um, not fully sure... few days...
Last good cry: a few weeks ago probably... in the depths of despair...
Last library book: a book on guillain barré syndrome... the things we do!!!
Last movie seen (in theater): hhgtg
Last beverage drank: h20
Last food consumed: rice with fish, chicken schnitzel and assorted vegies... ;p
Last phone call: sally
Last Time Showered: this morning
Last shoes worn: strangely my red flame reebok dmx's, which i don't wear very often now...
Last item bought: lunch at uni (mee goreng)
Last annoyance: at myself over being annoyed abt something else that wasn't worth being annoyed abt...
Last time wanting to die: a couple of yrs now i think...
Last time scolded: a few days... hmmm... ;p

RELATIONSHIPS
Who are your best friends?: gal, shaz, mary, and sal (my favourite person ever)
Do you have a girlfriend?: yeh
Do you do drugs?: no (did u know that "no" is some form of japanese theatre?!?)
What kind of shampoo do you use?: palmolive naturals for dry hair (atm)
What are you most scared of?: losing my mental faculties?!? jus from a discussion we had in a tute abt growing old... maybe i am afraid of growing old...
What are you listening to right now?: my brother's computer's noise and headphones, the sounds of warhammer... my computer is very well-behaved and silent!!!
Where do you want to get married?: a church where all my/her friends and family can be there to celebrate too...
What would you change about yourself?: would like to be more like Christ... turn away from my horrible ways of rebellion and self-centredness...

FAVORITES
Color: green, that speaks of nature's beauty...
Food: chocolate!!! my dopamine receptors cry out for satiety!!!
Boy name: hehe... names i like?!? or names i would call a boy?!? i like names with k in them, like kynan... but i'd probably go with a more traditional one if i had to choose, like thomas, or simon, or james
Girl name: kayla!!! or mikayla ;p - haha...
Subjects in school: physics... music...
Animals: dog ;p love labradors...
Sports: tennis... table tennis... ;p but i usually do lonely sports like running and swimming...
Perfume: calvin klein eternity

HAVE YOU EVER
Given anyone a bath?: nope... i don't think so, anyway...
Bungee jumped?: no...
Skinny dipped?: no...
Ever been in love?: yeh, like now...
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: when i was little...
Pictured your crush naked?: ...
Actually seen your crush naked?: no...
Lied?: yes...
Fallen for a close friend?: nearly...
Been rejected?: which 22 year old guy hasn't... (i hope u don't mind me borrowing ur phrase, jim ;p) - once, yes...
Rejected someone: yeh...
Used someone?: no...
Done something you regret?: yeh...

CURRENT
Clothes: jumper, and abt three more layers underneath... still wearing socks and pants from today...
Music: silence... (u know, that piece by john cage?!?)
Annoyance: me, very often me...
Smell: anosmic... no, not true... but nothing stands out...
Favorite band/artist: too many... ;p currently still like coldplay...
Desktop picture: spirited away, pic of chihiro!!!
DVD in player: the passion... and anne-sophie mutter playing beethoven disc 2...

LAST PERSON
You touched: shaz...
Hugged: sal...
You imed: gal, maybe?!? or shaz?!?
Imed you: as above...
Called you: sal...
You called: sal... ;p (kinda predictable, eh?!?)
Bought you flowers: hmmm?!? let me think... if i remember right, i don't know who would've bought them, but whoever for some music gig ages ago...

WHO DO YOU WANNA
Kill: nobody...
Slap: myself... i feel i need a slap ;p, or maybe jus some sleep...
Kiss: ummm, pretty clear already, huh?!?

WHICH IS BETTER
Coke or pepsi: poke...
Flowers or candy: flandy...
Tall or short: tort... doesn't matter, so long as have long hair... ;p

All I need is: God... ;p
Love: God, sal, music...
You dream of: strange things... even i find them strange... ;p that's weird...
Last person you danced with: i don't know... sal, probably... either at dance thingy, or at daniel's place... either way, was a while ago...
Worst question to ask: what if?!? (no, not always true... but yeh, i don't like asking this question of myself...)
Who makes you laugh the most: am in a mood i find hard to imagine what laughter even is... but yeh... some ppl succeed even still ;p
Who has a crush on you: i don't know... i know of several who "had", but believe they'd all be over it now...

DO YOU EVER
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: used to... once upon a time... ;p there are some funny stories i can tell abt this, tho most ppl aren't ever going to find out...
Wish you were younger: not really... but yeh, i think i like 21, so maybe a few days younger...

NUMBER
Of times I have had my heart broken: ummm, depends on what u mean... once (see above), perhaps, might count... but my heart is well and truly intact ;p
Of hearts I have broken: i hope none... one probably, possibly a couple more, but i hope it can still be zero!!!
Of girls I've kissed: 2
Of continents I have lived in: 1

Exams coming...

ohhh, starting to become aware of the fact that i have an exam on thursday!!! not really stressed, but yeh, to study i should go... jus finished what promises to be my last undergraduate assignment ever, yay!!!

my mind now is a jumble... rapp, rural, emerg, psych - fairly haphazard spread of what some term "fluffy" topics... doesn't mean i'm really good at them tho... well, i suppose emergency medicine isn't really fluffy, although i have to say the others really are... my mindset is quite hazy though, more suited to the fluffy topics, probably because i'm jus coming out from rapp now... rehab, aged care, psych of old age and palliative care... i jus hope i don't go into the exams faced with the situation of a trauma case in need of resus and start asking the patient abt their childhood and love life...

anywayz, back to some study now, then sleep... and drinking heaps of water... bulking up for blood donation... ;p at least i will have done one thing useful this week!!!

Repentance... More Deliberations...

repentance is the change of heart that comes with recognising Jesus is Lord... repentance is turning from our sins, but further than that, turning to God... - and only by turning to God, looking to the cross, can we truly repent...

can i lead a righteous life?!? after all, Jesus did say that unless our righteousness surpasses that of the pharisees, we cannot enter the kingdom of God... - but no, inevitably there is a sinful nature within our flesh that will cause us to fall on occasion... - are we then banished?!? no, because by asking forgiveness and believing on Jesus, God sees Jesus' righteousness, and not our own... and certainly, Jesus' righteousness surpasses greatly that of the pharisees!!! so praise to God!!!

i think repentance is important, and often underemphasised... i mean, salvation is not something we can do by changing our ways by our own power... salvation is something we come by only by trusting wholly in Jesus... - and we will be judged at the final day, not by what we do, but by what Jesus did for us...

;p repentance is therefore important, not because it is what saves us, but because it *always* accompanies true faith... i mean, how else can we respond to one so wonderful as our God, except to obey Him?!? to seek forgiveness from past sins?!? to turn to Him and away from sin?!?

i think martin luther said it best when he said, "faith alone saves, but faith that saves is never alone".

River of stars...

jus writing a post to announce the arrival of one of my really good mates on the blog scene ;p - shall i say, arrived with a succussion splash?!? in a cytokine storm?!? in a menorrhagic torrent?!? (sorry... i'll cut the corny med talk...) - in a river of stars, no less ;p check out galaxy's blog, entitled "nothings of eternity"...

anyway, things on the mind - had been challenged abt the notion of what is meant by repentance, and what it means in light of God's grace... a really important thing, if u ask me!!! coz repentance is such a core element of the gospel, so crucial a part of Christian living... jus to share what my take on it is, and leave it here, so that this moulded notion can be further challenged, corrected, and refined (plz leave comments!!!)...

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REPENTANCE

i see the way we live - i.e. "making every effort to live in peace with everyone and be holy", loving God above all and each other as ourselves - as being the only true and possible response of a Christian to the gospel... it doesn't mean that we are allowed to go out and deliberately sin... we may sin, as we are still sinners, but this is because of our sinful nature separate from our new identity in Christ... God's grace does not give us the right to sin, but in all cases, because of God's amazing love, His grace is sufficient for our salvation...

so repentance, then, is the way we live... we are to live according to the law with "every effort"... but we are no longer bound by the law... because God has sent Jesus, sin is defeated, the law is overcome, and we no longer live in fear of the consequence of sin... - but it's the amazingness of Jesus, who we know personally, that inspires us towards a life of obedience!!! - so while we no longer fear sin's consequence, we live in greater obedience to God, by living in love, forgiveness and humility... because we are loved, forgiven, and raised with Jesus by God...

so what then of those who still sin?!? - for we are all sinners, with a sinful nature... can we escape the inevitability of sin?!? no, i don't think we can... so we continually need to ask for God's forgiveness... there is a warning against deliberately sinning tho (hebrews 12)... for God's salvation is no licence to sin... but rather a pardon from that which we do, because of our shortcomings... ultimately, faith is in the heart, and what is in our heart is reflected in our action... (thanx sally for helping me with that ;p) - so, in short, while being a Christian requires one simply to believe in Christ Jesus, repentance is still definitely a requirement of Christian living...
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anyhow, mind in crazy state atm, i don't know i have a lot of coherent sense to say anything remotely useful or interesting... ;p so, til next time, God bless!!!

love-in-Christ,
dave

Bug infested...

am bug infested... big bug overrun with little bugs... they seem to have been having lots of fun with my body in the last week or so... got this picture of little furry bug things running around, and jus randomly going, "let's go over there" - "i wonder what this is" - "ooh, a macrophage!!! run!!!" - "ooh, it's got a multiloculated nucleus, it's a neutrophil!!!" - or "i wonder what we look like under a gram stain..."

bugs have been making me feel hot and cold, giving me generalised muscle aches and pains (these symptoms have resolved so far), intermittent headache, sore throat, taking away my voice (case for those studying for dmf exams?!?) - and it's frustrating for some1 like me, who likes to give his vocal cords regular exercise, not being able to talk!!!

despite all that, so many things to thank God for still ;p
-that i am still alive
-that i can still type
-that i can still whisper
-that other ppl can still talk to me
-that i can listen to their wonderful voices
-that i can still play music
-that i can still do ENT
-that the ear is so intricate
-that i have such great friends
-that i am still happy
-that God has made Sally ;p
-that God has revealed Himself thru Jesus
-that God is so amazing
-that God is so loving
-that God is so wonderful!!!

praise the Lord!!! ;p