Verse I Didn't Get (VIDG) #1

I'm hoping to revive my blog in a somewhat meaningful fashion! This is an attempt to start a series (possibly weekly or monthly) on interesting or difficult verses that I come across in my reading of the Bible. I am doing this mostly as a personal exercise, although in sharing this I do hope that others may benefit from hearing another point of view! By no means do I claim any of my own authority - and of course, I call on other resources in order to aid with my understanding. But in writing these things down, I find myself accountable to others to correct and criticise my understanding/exegesis. These verses inevitably have proven quite challenging - so much so that they take several re-reads in order to understand, often requiring a closer look at the original language composition/construction and the context surrounding them. One might want to check out John Piper's "Desiring God" blog, and a few of these links for more on regular reading (and how to read).

• 8 Profitable Ways to Read the Bible
• Brothers, let us query the Text
• PDF file on Biblical Exegesis

On a side note - it's interesting to read that John Piper was arrested! His post here shows how passionate he is about the rights of the unborn child. It is sad to contemplate the limbo-state of the unborn - their life and identity remains utterly fragile and at the mercy of those who would not recognise their existence as anything greater than a piece of flesh. The complexity of the issue is huge, however, and well beyond the scope of where I want to go with this post - can of worms for another time, keep it shut for now. Anyhow - enough of a digression - without further ado, the first VIDG!


Genesis 3:16

To the woman he said, "I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you."

This is a hard text! While a coincidence, it is intriguing to note that there are many books of the Bible whose 16th verse in the 3rd chapter stands out as interesting - cf. John 3:16 and 1 John 3:16 to cite two of the most famous ones. I've chosen this one because it challenged me thoroughly, as a verse that appeared quite abhorrent and difficult to accept. Here, in Genesis, the first book of the Bible, we encounter a decree from God to the first woman, Eve, saying that as a result of sin (i.e. disobedience to God), He would:

• multiply her pain in childbearing
• her desire will be for her husband, and he will rule over her

This twofold decree sounds like a harsh punishment! In the first instance, pain is added to childbearing - why is it that the woman must endure this, and not the man? Secondly, she is to be insubordinated to her husband - which creates in her an inner turmoil, since her desire is for him! There is much to be said against this twofold decree, particularly in today's age where gender equality is the dominant stance.

Yet not is all as it seems.

Briefly, the first part of this verse is straightforward - pain in childbearing is truly evident in human experience; what this tells us is that it is by God's decree that this is so, and that this suffering is prescribed as a response to sin. That modern medicine (and perhaps alternative therapies) are able to provide considerable relief from this suffering is by God's grace.

The second part of this verse is far more difficult to accept and understand. On first reading, this appears to be decreed or mandated insubordination of women! In many ways, history bears this out. Indeed, reading the Bible seems to bear this out as well - just look at the narrative of the patriarchs through Genesis. Male dominance in society is fairly well assumed in a lot of history, and across the vast majority of cultures. It is easy for one to see that this verse can be abused by those seeking to exercise male dominance over women. However - does God decree that insubordination of women is right and good?

Here, we are reminded of the primacy of the man, Adam. Eve followed, and she was created as a helper for Adam - thus the order of the first couple determines the pre-existing nature of their relationship. The leadership was given to Adam in the first place. Closer examination of the first phrase in the last sentence of Genesis 3:16 ("your desire shall be for your husband") reveals that this has a parallel in Genesis 4:7 - the same word for "desire" is used here to describe sin's "desire" for Cain. This "desire" should therefore not be interpreted in the usual way - rather, it is a term that is imperfectly translated into English, one that encompasses the sense that the woman will desire to control her husband - and then, the verse goes on to decree that "he shall rule over you". The picture here is one of struggle, or one of conflict, or strain, within the marriage relationship. Note also that this verse describes marriage (the term "husband" is used), and not the relationship of all women to all men - therefore, this does not connote a mandate or decree by God that men are to rule over women in every circumstance.

For more on the marriage relationship, Ephesians 5:25-33 is positively helpful. Here, Paul describes marriage as an analogy for the relationship between Christ and the church. True sacrificial love (after the pattern of Christ) is encouraged. Right submission (which is mutual, see Ephesians 5:21) is to characterise all inter-Christian relationships, including marriage. The headship expressed by husbands in marriage is not to be of the domineering type.


Summary:

• suffering is decreed by God because of human disobedience (sin)
• there will be conflict within the marriage relationship (also as a result of sin)
• there is no decree by God that men as a whole shall rule over women
• there is, however, a right order (the husband's headship) in marriage, which is to be characterised by sacrificial love

Till next time, God bless!

Meditation

"Driven", "energetic", "confident", "efficient", "productive", "professional" - all these words I have been trying to apply to myself in a desperate bid to transform myself into the ideal candidate for anaesthetics training at a major tertiary hospital in metropolitan Melbourne. Immersion in the culture of medicine has certainly served to drive me in this direction - one that would surely see me succeed at becoming that inevitable ultra-efficient utility within a public health system that is ever seeking greater efficiency, in a world/society that seeks that same end.

I wonder whether this is a healthy thing at all - efficiency.

In our bid to stamp out waste, efficiency as measured by production per unit time is promoted as the highest ideal, almost without question. No longer can we rest in the knowledge that our job is done - forever work accumulates in front of us in a never ending pattern of futility as we strive to see our list of jobs disappear completely. If, perchance, we encroach on earning a break, a rest, then all of a sudden we realise we must have forgotten something crucial - through furrowed brow, we search, trying to remember what we next needed to do - always there is something more to be accomplished.

I wonder whether it is better to see this for what it is - futile.

This cycle of modern life churns our personalities into mindless machines, preventing us from gaining true independence - a perspective that is lost to us, as we gaze through frosted eyes in the belief that our independence can truly be gained only through the daily grind. If only our lives could be turned the right way up again, and we could see life for what it truly is - or rather, what it truly should be.

I wonder whether there is more than just futility - purpose?

Meaning in our lives can only be gained by a change of pace - hard to come by in the scheduled life. The songs that resonate most strongly in my head are those that speak of stillness, patience, solitude. Waiting. Slowing down. Only then can we understand our purpose - because it exists well beyond the immediate and tactile reality that we are trapped within. So many things glow with the promise of gratification that they delude us, luring the unwary to accept the notion that all that exists is what is seen, and nothing further. How depressing! Slow down. Wait. Quiet your soul. Listen.

As the old adage goes - less is more. Go. Meditate.

"Surely I have stilled and quieted my soul..." - Psalm 131:2 (ASV)

IMPACT 2009...

I'll preface this rather lengthy post by saying that these reflections are here mostly for my own benefit. It is really a simple exercise in remembrance of the wonderful teaching we received last weekend – and, as for any type of learning, revision is greatly beneficial in improving retention and application of the acquired knowledge. I do hope, however, that some will read this and enjoy it, perhaps even learn from it, and also be encouraged in living in such a way as to give glory to our heavenly Father!

Reflections

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." – Micah 6:8

As a medical practitioner, mercy really ought to be at the heart of my professional mission. However, it is frequently lost in our thinking – medicine as a job does not necessarily lend itself to rewarding mercy in practice. The environment is one of high stress, drive for efficiency, hierarchy - it all combines to push one's feelings aside, and the temptation is to feel like yet another cogwheel in the system, keeping things running. Patients are an inevitable part of the system, rather than a person in need of mercy. When we are stripped bare by the eyes of analysis, we realise the brutal truth, that the mercy given us is often not passed onto others around us. But as recipients of mercy – God's mercy – we are called to be more than cogwheels, more than instruments of diagnosis and treatment. We are called to become agents of God's mercy to those in need, and we are privileged in the health care profession to be able to reach out to so many, who might benefit from God's mercy through us.

IMPACT 2009, a conference of CMDFA (Christian Medical and Dental Fellowship of Australia) held last weekend in Geelong, brought together a nationwide body of doctors, dentists, nurses and other allied health professionals, and students, to learn about and discuss the theme of mercy.

Old Testament Insights

We were blessed to have Andrzej Turkanik, a theologian from Austria (as distinct from the land of the kangaroo!), be the keynote speaker for the weekend. As a theologian concentrating on the Old Testament, he presented us with some interesting character examples to illustrate how God's mercy works, and how we ought to apply these.

Moses

First, turning to Exodus 3, we learn of Moses's journey to the far side of the desert, a long way from the hustle and bustle of Egypt's cosmopolitan heart, where he had been known as a murderer. Here, Moses climbs Horeb (Sinai) and comes into God's presence. At this point in time, God, having heard the cry of his suffering Israelites, plans to rescue them from their plight. Moses is chosen for this mission. Upon the mountain, confronted with God's astounding mission, then goes onto ask two powerful questions of God.

"Who am I?" – Moses has had a privileged upbringing that may prepare him, as well as or better than most, for the task of confronting Pharaoh. However, Moses' question is a fairly logical reaction to the scale of the task (verse 11). Note, however, God's response. He does not remind Moses of his upbringing, or his preparedness. He, instead, says "I will be with you" – the connection here, is that Moses' identity is as one who is with God. His ability is not the factor that leads to success, rather it is God's presence. Compare this with 2 Corinthians 12, and Paul's experience with physical impediment (thorn in the flesh). God's answer to prayer was clear (verse 9) saying "my grace is sufficient for you". When confronted with life, tasks, hardship – God's grace, His presence, is all we need.

"Who are you?" – Moses asks this question, perhaps doubting God’s strength and power to save. However, God’s response is very revealing and powerful. In verses 14-15, God reveals Himself as “I am”, “the God of your fathers”, and “the name by which I am to be remembered from generation to generation”. He then goes on to promise deliverance to a new land, a new life. This reveals God as a constant God, one who is powerful, as proven in the past, who he presently is, and what he will do in the future. When confronted with doubt – remember God’s constancy.

What we learn from Moses is that God is someone whom we can trust, and that our reliance is only rightly placed with Him. He may ask much of us, but when the task is at hand, God’s grace and presence are sufficient.

Jacob & Leah

In Genesis 29, Jacob and Leah both feel hard done by. Jacob has worked hard for seven years, in love with Rachel, and finds out that he has been tricked into marrying the other sister. Leah clearly plays the role of despised wife. How, then, does their story display the mercy of God? Leah was shown mercy in being granted sons – indeed, many sons, and far more than Rachel. While she would not be loved by Jacob, she praised the Lord for His mercy. Indeed, the greatest mercy extended to her is shown in her eventual part in the line of Jesus’ own ancestors!

Judah & Tamar

In Genesis 38, within one to two generations of Jacob and Leah, we meet Judah (one of the sons of Jacob and Leah) and Tamar. Genesis 38 is one of the strangest chapters in the Old Testament – it is almost perverse when we look at it from modern day eyes. Perhaps a bit of background context is in order here. Tamar’s situation needs to be understood in the light of Canaanite law – their law obliges Tamar (a widow) to seek to provide sons (i.e. the all-important line of descendants) for her dead husband. This would be achieved by way of the dead husband’s brethren becoming husband to the woman, thus fulfilling the duty of the deceased.

We read of Onan’s wickedness. He entered into the relationship for pleasure, ignoring responsibility, and greedily seeking a greater inheritance for himself by not providing a son for his deceased brother. He was put to death (by God). Fearing the same fate for his next son, Judah deceives Tamar – however, he is himself deceived by her, once she learns of his deceit. Ashamed, Judah admits that she was more righteous than he. Despite Judah’s wickedness, and Tamar’s underprivileged position, God’s mercy is once again shown in the resolution of the story, and their ultimate line of descendants to Jesus!

Of course, this mercy is not lost on Judah. He is transformed by this mercy. Judah’s wickedness (as evidenced by his hypocrisy and fear, and earlier in his part in selling Joseph into slavery) is transformed into merciful, sacrificial character (as evidenced by his willingness to plead, and even substitute for his younger brother, Benjamin, in Genesis 44).

We therefore learn from Judah that God’s mercy, extended to the lowly, has mighty transformative power. This works to the glory of God – not because of our righteous deeds, but because of God’s sovereignty.

Elijah

The story of Elijah the prophet is one of despair and lost hope in the face of Queen Jezebel’s threats on his life, after the great showdown between himself and the prophets of Baal. We pick this up in 1 Kings 19, and Elijah flees to the desert. Note that Elijah is fleeing in the direction of Horeb (Sinai), because at the place where Moses experienced God’s presence, there he also desired to experience God’s presence. Elijah is representational of Moses – as prophesied in Deuteronomy 18. Fed by God, Elijah reaches Horeb – having received physical nourishment, he then comes to the place where he will be filled spiritually.

At Horeb, Elijah seeks refuge in a cave. This interestingly suggests that Elijah, having sought God, now wants to hide – but God’s thought-provoking question applies to us all, “What are you doing here?” Note then Elijah’s predicament, trapped within himself, as evidenced in his rather self-centered response. God’s revelation is also interesting. Rather than manifest in a powerful display, God chooses to arrive as a “gentle whisper”, or when translated more accurately from the original Hebrew text, as a “thundering sound of sheer silence”. God’s nature here is mysterious, but clearly more powerful than earthly (or even heavenly) displays of power and might. Filled with God’s presence, Elijah is (like Moses) commissioned by God to “go” and fulfill his purposes. Later on, like Moses, Elijah is granted the grace of meeting and talking with Jesus about Jesus’ own exodus (Luke 9:28). Such is the mercy of God that the spiritually exhausted are filled!

We learn much from Elijah. Just as we become disheartened or threatened, and dwell in self pity, we come to God for filling. God is gracious and merciful, revealing Himself as He chooses, but refreshing us spiritually so that we might play our part in God’s story, God’s plans. We can gain hope for the future from Elijah’s story, that we, also, will meet God face to face. In this lifetime, what counts is faithful obedience to God’s commission.

A Radical Prayer

“Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy” – Matthew 5:7

Reverend Dr David Williams, a minister, missionary and medical doctor, taught principally about the meaning of mercy, developing the concept well beyond the traditional exposition of “withholding judgment”, describing mercy instead as active love and compassion for the lost and weak.

The Traditional View

A traditional view has grace and mercy being two sides of the same coin. Grace is the provision of undeserved blessing, while mercy is withholding judgment. Indeed, these are helpful ways of understanding what God has done for us at the cross – fundamentally, the freedom and eternal life we experience in Christ is God’s grace, while being spared the punishment of death and eternal separation from God is God’s mercy.

True Mercy

To understand mercy properly, however, requires an understanding of God’s character. Mercy does not seem a natural or easily understood attitude, when one thinks about our understanding of justice. Sin deserves punishment – even unto death. Exodus 25:17 describes the atonement cover (or mercy seat), the place of the ultimate sacrifice, an annual event involving the death of unblemished animals. This took place to (symbolically) abolish the chasm between man and God that had been created by sin, and hence restore the relationship.

If punishment were to be simply ignored, this would imply that justice is undermined. If God is completely just, then, how are we to understand that our sin goes unpunished? At the cross, we see that our sin indeed is not unpunished, but is completely accounted for – substitutionary atonement. Who took the punishment for our sin? It was Jesus, upon the cross, fully human, but also fully God, who took the punishment. The character of God, whose mind-blowing act of love it was to take the punishment of the world’s sin upon Himself, is perfect mercy.

Mercy, therefore, is loving kindness, compassion, pity. It beautifies relationships, for it produces edification of the lost and weak. For the mortal, God’s mercy enables us to learn and be filled with God-likeness. Because we have received mercy, we can understand mercy, and because of this we can show mercy.

Outworking of Mercy

In our lives, therefore, God’s mercy is active and alive in our own transformed inclinations toward others. God’s mercy is poured into our lives, and our calling is to take up our cross daily – thus, God’s mercy is extended to others. Our attitude is to be that of Christ, compassionate and sacrificial. This, then, is mercy.

The ingenious corollary of this is that our own lives are enriched if we are merciful! As Jesus proclaimed, “Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.” With an attitude of mercy, we are aided in our understanding of God’s own character – this, furthermore, is mercy, our own contentment in God!

A Radical Prayer

If our lives are to be characterized by mercy, as we hope, then we must cast aside all hindrances. And so we pray that our lives are God-centered. We pray for no riches, except in God alone (our example lies within scripture, in Proverbs 30:8). We pray also to find no rest, except in God alone (Hebrews 4). We pray that we may be able to love God more than our own families (Matthew 10:37).

Many find such prayer radical, for it goes against many of the things we are tempted to call blessings. Riches can be blessings, as can holidays and rest, and families are a wonderful blessing also. However – the problem lies in the possibility that each of these potential blessings are also potential idols. If we can pray these prayers, then this helps to refocus and establish our priority in God – these blessings are secondary.

Such is the nature of God’s mercy that we are able to understand His mercy when we draw near to Him, and we are abundantly blessed when we can know Him so well.

Bridging the Gap

Dr Alan Gijsbers, addiction medicine specialist and theologian, taught about mercy as the attitude or desire to bridge the gap, to heal, essentially God’s character and desire to bring about restoration since sin entered the world.

“Mercy” is used to translate several Hebrew words in the Old Testament:

Chesed – loving kindness

Chanan – grace

Rachamin – pity

Note that all three of the above are represented in Psalm 51:1, and all three are part of God’s character, as expounded in Exodus 34:6-7.

In the New Testament, “mercy” is used to translate four Greek words:

Eleos – kindness

Oiktirmos – pity/compassion

Splanchnon – affection

Hilaskomai – propitious/merciful

The many meanings of the word “mercy” as used in Scripture highlight its complex nature, and its broad meanings together form a significant component of Godly attitude. Once again, we return to Jesus as God incarnate for our prime illustration of what mercy looks like. Jesus healed the sick (Matthew 4:23). He associated with the needy (Matthew 9:9-13). Notice in this passage that Jesus exhorts the Pharisees to understand God’s plea, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice”, and again the very same exhortation in Matthew 12:7. God’s people had heard this before numerous times (1 Samuel 15:22-3, Psalm 40:6-8, Isaiah 1:11-17, Jeremiah 7:21-3, and verbatim in Hosea 6:6). Mercy is an attitude of the heart, one that Jesus displays so clearly throughout His ministry.

If we examine the beginning of Jesus’ ministry in Matthew 4-5, we notice something incredible. Jesus’ preaching comes in the context of His powerful healing ministry – i.e. Jesus was a medical missionary! Imagine Jesus overseeing His disciples, and the crowds of needy below, and proclaiming the Kingdom of God, all the while healing them because of His infinite compassion. This is mercy. Jesus instructs His disciples to be “salt” and “light”, likewise carrying out the deeds of mercy.

Mercy & Justice

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." – Micah 6:8

As has been alluded to earlier, mercy and justice are intimately related. Although mercy may seem the essence of God’s character, it is important to understand justice as being equally essential to God’s character. Mercy does not make sense without justice. Mercy requires a moral sense of right and wrong, a heart that feels wrenched at injustice, and a desire to set things right. Equally, justice is harsh and unsustainable without mercy – imagine a cold-hearted, merciless society, retribution without transformation. Wisdom is required amongst all of this to apply mercy and justice in our lives.

Micah challenges us to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with God. God’s example to us today is found in Jesus, who fully exemplifies the meeting of justice and mercy.

Mercy to Patients

As Christian health providers, we are challenged to enact justice and mercy toward our patients. In a sense, the implicit relationship is one between a healer and a broken individual. The responsibility of bridging that gap lies with us – and the secret to building that bridge is mercy, love.

We need only look at the perfect healer, Jesus, to understand how huge a challenge this can be. Love is easy when the attitude is mutual. However, the calling of a Christian is to be radical, and to love even our enemies. It is this type of love, which extends even unto those who do not love us, that transforms lives. It is this type of love that flows from a merciful heart. This sort of love, in our practice today, allows patients to have the freedom to be themselves, empowers them, and truly heals.

Again, wisdom is required to apply mercy properly – respectful, sensible boundaries must be set in the relationship, so as not to abuse trust.

Mercy on Ourselves

Amidst lofty standards, wisdom is required to keep the big picture in focus. It is tempting to think we can change the world, but in thinking so, there is a trap in being driven toward a career-oriented, unbalanced, unsustainable life. Mercy on ourselves involves maintaining balance in our lives, prioritizing important relationships (when blessed with family and church, our roles within each are given by God), and loving those who are close to us. Most importantly, we are to spend time with God, so that we can become more like God – holy (Leviticus 11:45, 19:2, 20:26), perfect (Matthew 5:48) and merciful (Luke 6:36).

Can Justice & Mercy Meet?

We are greatly blessed to have been taught also by Reverend Tim Costello, Chief Executive of World Vision Australia, lawyer and minister. On the theme of mercy, it was fitting for a lawyer to explore more deeply the relationship between justice and mercy in the light of Jesus’ ministry on earth. Jesus came to earth proclaiming repentance, for the Kingdom of God is at hand. Therein justice and mercy are immediately brought to the fore – repentance of a sinful generation before a righteous God, the chance to transform (mercy) in the face of imminent judgment (justice).

What exactly did Jesus proclaim? In Luke 4:18, Jesus quotes Isaiah, boldly declaring the arrival of good news to the poor. Jewish society was divided in essence into two unofficial subclasses – clean and unclean. The term “poor” alluded to the “unclean” – materially, in health, socially, and spiritually. It was these unclean people who were excluded from the inner sanctum of the temple, as it was felt that God’s holiness meant that only those clean, cleansed by ritual, were able to approach the throne. So it is with spectacular brilliance that Jesus’ proclamation of good news to the poor “cleanses” the spiritual divide, “cleanses” us from sin, and affords everyone the opportunity to approach with confidence the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:16)!

Jesus enacted justice and mercy in concert with His proclamation. The Kingdom of God was heralded with a compassionate healing ministry of immense proportion. Mercy flowed like a river, likewise, justice was not in the least ignored by Jesus.

Remember Micah’s challenge, to “act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.” At the global scale, we can observe these very things happening. Mercy and justice are both important elements in the work of aid organizations such as World Vision – aid (mercy) is being offered as a blessing to the poor (justice), and has always been paired with advocacy (justice). This is not for our own blessing, but for the fulfillment of God’s own plan for global restoration. In history, we also note the inspired work of Wesley and Wilberforce in the abolition of slavery.

On a personal level, what does this entail? Our calling (vocation – that part of God’s purpose for which we have been put on this earth), is where our deep gladness meets the world’s deep needs. It is our discipleship of God. Our vocations expose us to unique opportunities to enact mercy and justice at a personal level, and this is what God calls us to do in Micah 6:8. Faithful obedience to God means taking these opportunities – to do as Jesus did, to show God’s love to others.

“Can justice and mercy meet? Yes, and they must in order that the kingdom of God be realized. But they can only meet if we walk humbly with God.”

Mercy

Like Elijah, we have had the amazing chance to draw close to God, in our own Horeb. But God commands us to “go” – and overwhelmingly, the call from IMPACT 2009 is to go out into the world, to “act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with [our] God.”

Provision of Grace...

This blog post has been a long time coming! To believe it's almost a year since my last post is incredible - and to think that prior to that I had been posting so much more regularly, sometimes even more than once a week! I guess that blogging, a reflective (almost self-absorbed?) activity is one that easily fades into the background when you're married, and have someone else as a sounding board for ideas, complaints, innovations etc. Nevertheless, I feel determined not to let a year slip past between posts, so here I am again contributing my morsels to cyberspace.

Life once again settles down - after a year of marriage, we find ourselves in a stable situation where contentment and peace are the order of the day. All relationships have their roller coasters, though, and ours is no exception - occasionally the emotional second-guessing puts a seemingly insurmountable ocean-wave between us, and washes over us, so that we are shaken back into the reality that good relationships are never to be taken for granted!

Thank God for the blessing of a great marriage! And thank God for the reality and truth of His love in our lives, sustaining us from day to day. Like marriage, though, our relationship with God can easily be taken for granted - and much of the time we could do with a wake-up call. The low points in people's lives seem a great catalyst for change - they make one acutely aware of their desperate need for God, and they embark on a quest for meaning. Soul-searching, some people term it. Many people still call for the priest at their death bed, even though they may not have previously professed faith in Christ. Suddenly, knowledge of God becomes more important than ever, because meeting God becomes imminent. It's truly amazing that God indeed welcomes people back into his presence, at the last minute, even though they may have lived the remainder of their lives in complete rebellion against Him. But this is just the nature of God's amazing grace.

Working as a doctor brings with it the privilege of working with people at those low points in their lives. It's not an easy thing to bear witness to, and when patients are so sick, one often feels helpless - unable to offer hope, comfort and peace. Because the medical profession is so geared to circumventing death and disease, we find ourselves feeling defeated when there is nothing further medically that we can do.

But it is at these times when we should be most able to offer hope, comfort and peace, because vulnerability brings with it an amazing sensitivity to simple measures of care - a kind word, a gentle smile. I am as guilty as anyone else of being afraid to approach the sick patient, because I feel I can't do anything for them. Sometimes the kind word, the gentle smile, is in and of itself therapeutic. After all, being a health care provider has never been about defeating death itself - we are just setting ourselves up for failure, if this is our goal! Rather, it is about being able to provide for the wellbeing of our patients. And, as we are reminded from time to time, wellbeing is not merely limited to the physical domain, but extends to the psychological and spiritual as well.

Next week, Sal & I are attending the IMPACT conference, run by CMDFA (Christian Medical and Dental Fellowship of Australia). We attended this same conference last year, and learnt a lot about the role of Christians within the health profession - especially about how to be first a Christian, and then a doctor. I hope that we can be reminded of this again, and in doing so, be encouraged and empowered to be what God has called each of us to be!

100th post...

Quite amazing, thinking that this is my 100th blog post! I think it started 4 years ago (or 3 and a half) - so that's about 1 post every 10 days or so, which is remarkable seeing that I haven't posted anything since January!

The first half of the year has been quite fun - settling in after marriage, Sal going away to China and seeing a whole different health system, moving to a new place, and working in ICU (finally, a place at work where I actually feel like I belong - so I might be looking at a career here long term).

It has been a great time of experiencing God's grace and mercy - in his providence he has given us a feeling of settledness about our relationship, a sense of direction about career.

The second half of the year will be interesting - and we will be deciding and finding out where we'll be headed next year (in terms of jobs, specialisation etc). I'm hoping to do anaesthetics/ICU - this is offered at most hospitals in a package called a critical-care year, combining jobs in emergency, anaesthetics and intensive care - and have applied to several different places, in hope of finding one that will take me under their wing, and train me up.

Anaesthesia seems like a good long-term option. I really enjoy ICU - but then, with the vision of participating in the medical missions field down the track, anaesthetics seems like a more portable (useful) specialty. Anaesthesia also serves as a great co-specialty and pathway into the ICU specialty. I guess I'll find out what the whole scene is like, and see whether this is for me. Sometimes, finding your role in this world (career-wise) is not a matter of a dramatic calling - it may be as simple as falling into an area where you feel comfortable, and I'm sure that God can (and does) use this as a means of saying that one can serve well in this way.

Watch this space!

New Year...

Another new year, another blog entry, time to turn over a new leaf. I don't know about you, but I'm surprised that I'm writing in my blog again! Consumed with busyness over the past few months (yes, ever since starting that dreaded neurosurgery term) I never thought I would see the day when I would have both the time and mindset to compile thoughts to bring here again. Alas, I'm here - with so much (yet so little!) to talk about.

Many of you will know the biggest event of the last year for me has just passed - about a month ago! All I know to say is that God has been smiling so much upon me in bringing Sal and I together in marriage. It has been a fun time, getting used to one another, learning to love each other more and more, and doing everything together, mundane or thrilling. It really is about being together as one, in all circumstances, whether good or bad, sick or healthy, rich or poor - indeed even when right beside one another or on opposite ends of the globe. Our identity is now the paradoxical two-but-one, one-but-two, and we will probably be constantly trying to grasp what this concept really means for the rest of our lives!

Our wedding was a truly fun-filled occasion, and it was amazing, seeing friends from all different facets of our combined lives all gathered in one spot. Thank God that things went smoothly, and for turning on nice weather for us. I think we were quite blurred and hazy by the end of the day, and sometimes it felt strange being there - almost like watching a fairytale from outside. If something went awry, I imagine I would have snapped out of this mode and back to reality - but it all went so quickly, so well, that by the time we arrived at the hotel, it was like we couldn't believe we had just gotten married, a truly ethereal state!

Anyhow, if we didn't realise it then, we had each other to remind ourselves of our husband-and-wifeness over the next week. We flew south, to Launceston, and explored the sunny east coast, settling in Swansea for a few days, and exploring the Freycinet peninsula on foot and on kayak, with stomachs full of the freshest oysters! Then we had a few days in wintry Cradle Moutain, where the weather kept us inside for much of the time. Never mind though, the wallabies came to our verandah, and we were lucky enough to get a relatively unclouded glimpse of Cradle mountain from Marion's lookout. Our way back to Launceston was dotted with raspberry and chocolate tastings, and we traipsed through Cataract gorge park alongside peacoks on our last day before coming back home.

I have to say, it's been a difficult thing going back to work. Neurosurgery is by nature a very busy job, and I don't think I was really in the right mood to return to stresful, taxing hours just yet. A few more days holiday would have been just what I needed! But, indeed I am grateful not to be trading places with those whose care I am charged with each day.

Thank God for the past month, for all the enjoyment it has brought, and for the love He gives! Thanks for His constant grace too, for us to go on. Thanks to God also that I can keep this little corner of cyberspace alive! Before I go, I want to wish everyone a great New Year, filled with abundant blessings from our Father above, from Him who knows how to give good things too His children!

Pawprint...

It's been such a very long time since my paws last left an imprint on the web - nearly two months! But not to mind, I'm still here and OK, still in one piece, albeit mindful of the fact that the wheels of this world still turn just as well whether I'm here or not. Anyhow, I still choose to write - if not for the benefit of anyone apart from myself, and for shaping my own reflections.

The last couple of months have been at once very interesting and very taxing - working at Peter Mac, a specialist hospital for patients with cancer. My job is surgical oncology, and under this banner come seven separate units which I cover, four surgical and three radiation. It's quite different from mainstream jobs, where the resident is headed by a single registrar and perhaps a small network of consultants. Covering seven units means I work under at least four different registrars, each who answer to a plethora of consultants, and so it gets rather confusing! The resultant disorganisation, because of lack of cohesion between the units at higher levels, can leave my schedule very scattered and leads me to do more hours than I should - normally starting by 7am (surgical starts), and often ending around 6.30pm (radiation ward rounds, and sometimes surgical again). The work itself is not too difficult, however, and often quite rewarding. So, as a job, it's quite enjoyable.

One of the best things about doing this particular surgical rotation is the amount of time spent in theatre. It's quite a blessing - this is my second surgical term since graduation, and I've done probably an average of five or so theatre sessions per week, which is probably more in one week than I did in my entire surgical term last year! It means I've been able to do some surgical lists cutting out skin lesions (the senior doctors see these cases as tedium, so delegate them to me), as well as the usual assisting, closing wounds, and seeing a lot of anatomy, which is almost everyone's weak suit in medical school. From an interest viewpoint, I am definitely keen on continuing down the surgical path, but it does mean a fair bit of sacrifice.

Unfortunately, surgery is the archetypal family-unfriendly career choice. While interesting, the hours (especially the early starts) are exhausting, and there is a culture of career first, family second, quite widespread amongst the surgical community. I guess that it's almost a tacit expectation for most junior surgeons, and in general those who want to prioritise other things are frowned upon. I suppose this is one area where I definitely want to be counter-cultural - family is more important than career - but it's not always easy to demonstrate this. I have to admit that I have been poor at balancing work and life outside work for these past couple of months. In general, I return home exhausted, and all I want to do is flop on the bed and not wake up until late the next morning. Perhaps I'm not really cut out for the surgical lifestyle. But then again, I hope to be able to answer that question for myself, whether or not surgery is for me, within the next couple of years - then I can decide whether to continue, or to take a sidestep onto a different platform, perhaps to become a physician or general practitioner instead.

Thanks to God, I now have three weeks of annual leave! Even this has its own list of tasks to eat through - wedding planning being among the top of them, alongside househunting. It's nice thinking about these things, and being able to contemplate the future, and how our plans seem to be taking shape. At the moment, we're looking only a few months to a year ahead, but these form the gateway to the years beyond, for which I'm sure God has planned for us an exhilarating journey!

I want to mention a documentary Sal & I watched last night, called Jesus Camp. Centred on a preacher who organises annual camps for Christian children in USA, the documentary raises a lot of issues - not necessarily taking a standpoint on any of them, but allowing us to really think and decide for ourselves what is really right or wrong. The belief of the children in Jesus seemed genuine, and for their age (many of them around 10 or 11 years, no more) they held quite a sophisticated understanding of a lot of issues that many of their age might not ever have considered. The concept of sin as separation from God, and Jesus' death in our place is not easy to grasp - the depth of God's love in this act is unfathomable. Yet, they articulated God's reality, their occasional doubts, and their passion for Jesus' message, in a way that defied their age.

What I found disturbing, though, was the way that minds so malleable can be used in a sense - one thing to teach them about God, another to teach them about topical issues such as creation, abortion and which party to vote for. One guy, a Christian radio announcer, expressed his concern, calling it "indoctrination", and not just in the realm of faith, but also in the realm of politics. I have to say, from the glimpse into that world afforded by the documentary, that I share his concern. The children, despite displaying an outward maturity and level of eloquence beyond their years, still have insufficient grasp of the depth of complexity within each issue, and are being presented with very one-sided viewpoints. They are also being fairly actively sheltered against alternate viewpoints. In one scenario, a mother homeschooling her child was discussing the issue of creation. As they talked, her belief in literal six-day creation was obvious, and Darwin's evolution was dismissed as no more than an absurdity. In another scenario, a prominent pro-life speaker came to preach at the camp, and together everyone in the room was summoned to join in corporate prayer against abortion. In yet another, children all around the dinner table were talking about how they weren't allowed to see Harry Potter because of the witchcraft portrayed - indeed, just earlier, the central preacher in the documentary had opened her message by saying Harry Potter was evil, and would have been put to death in the time of the Old Testament. To the eyes of outsiders (I would add, especially non-Christian outsiders) these scenes can look a lot like indoctrination. There did not seem to be much in the way of encouraging the children to consider the alternatives and make up their mind for themselves.

One obvious danger in this is manipulation. Another danger is that it leaves the children in a position where they find it hard to understand where others are coming from. When a non-Christian comes along, they perceive them with a degree of suspicion. When someone poses an alternative viewpoint, they laugh. When a hot political topic becomes the subject of discussion, they fervently rush to regurgitate the arguments they have been exposed to all of their lives, oblivious to the complete picture and the alternative. Forgive me for generalising, but this is the picture that comes across when I see these scenes.

All in all, I think that the documentary was quite thought provoking. Yes, I would love for my children to be brought up with a very solid grounding in Christian character development and understanding the Bible. I would certainly be hoping, praying, indeed doing all in my power to make sure they understand the truth about Jesus. But I would also not want them to be ignorant of what others think. I would want them to grow to be thinkers, able to critically appraise arguments put forward by others, and carefully consider them. And indeed, be able to accept them, if they are right. I don't think that the style of moral mollycoddling depicted in the documentary is the right way to do this.

Anyhow - I think this has grown into quite a monster of a blog! Please comment if you have views on the documentary, or just want to say hi. God bless!

Hear this recurring theme?

I'm afraid I might begin to sound like a broken record when it comes to talking about work and the sheer busy-ness of being a junior doctor. Unfortunately, this week just past has not done anything to change my experience, and in fact might have gone an extra way to solidifying the well-known fact that junior doctors are run off their feet.

I have started working at Peter Mac, a specialist hospital for care of patients with cancer, covering some of the surgical and radiation oncology units. It's only been one week so far, but whew! It was quite a week. Getting used to a new environment is always taxing - there is much time spent having to introduce oneself to everyone else around, finding papers, patients and files. I'm also showing myself short in the fitness stakes - running the stairs to the ninth floor is quite exhausting! On the bright side, I should be fighting fit by the end of my thirteen weeks here. I have some hope that things will improve somewhat over the coming weeks, however. Tomorrow, many of the registrars return from conference or study leave, and I will have more people to share the workload with! Watch this space - my crazy hours might become more reasonable. I have to say, the work itself is quite enjoyable and rewarding. It's never easy dealing with such serious illness as cancer, but it means that each little difference one makes can make an incredible difference to the person's life and experience.

I guess I want to talk a bit about a seminar Sal & I attended last night, run by CMDFA (Christian Medical and Dental Fellowship of Australia). There were three speakers, each Christian doctors, specialists in their own fields, talking from their experience about witnessing in the context of medical practice. One had been pulled up by the medical board and found guilty of unprofessional conduct when he had prayed for a patient. The account of the story was such that permission to pray had been obtained, but as there was a bystander (the patient's friend) present, it was the friend who had been offended and brought up the complaint.

The issue of boundaries was addressed. I think that this is important, since we live in a society where we are closely identified to our occupational roles, which are bound with implicit expectations. We need to work within the framework defined by our roles. This includes boundaries, and it's important to not step outside these boundaries set by our roles, except by careful exploration. Take, for example, a doctor who offers his patient chiropractic services. Or a dentist who offers to fix up a patient's crook knee. Analagous is the practitioner who offers to pray, in the eyes of many. This is like offering a pastoral service - it lies outside the bounds of what is expected of a doctor, and hence represents dangerous ground on which to tread. The most important danger to recognise in breaching, or even blurring, boundaries is that any step out of the predefined roles represents an avenue towards role confusion. It is easy to see how role confusion already causes trouble - for example in the country town, a patient might be a friend of the doctor, or the partner of a relative, or something like that.

On the other hand, as Christians, we are first and foremost children of God, and only secondarily are we defined by our occupations. We are called to promote the Gospel of Christ through our lives, and this includes our work! This, then, has been a difficult sticking point for many Christians in the health profession - when is it appropriate to pray for patients? Is it appropriate for us to openly display our faith through our attire - e.g. wearing a cross? Back in the first century, Paul said that he had "become all things to all people, in order that I may win some". Also, he called early Christians not to be too caught up with their newfound freedom in Christ, but to think carefully about the impact of their actions on others. His experience reveals that we have to be culturally sensitive. Although here, twenty centuries later, our world holds as its highest value the elusive concept of "freedom", as doctors we should still voluntarily behave within its expected boundaries, so as not to upset the primary reasons for which our patients come to us in the first place.

Being a Christian doctor does require us to excel in our work. Being a good doctor is already a powerful witness for Christ. Being a caring doctor, coming across as a person whose primary aim in the doctoring role is to serve his or her patients, is already a wonderful testament to our loving God. Our behaviour, not just our words, can serve to point patients and bystanders in the direction of Christ, by showing forth His character. There is no rule against caring. So, firstly, we ought to do well in our occupation.

Secondly, there are times and places to talk about our own faiths, and those of our patients. On occasion, patients want to talk about their faith. If so, then this is one of the best times to think and talk about Christianity - but we need to listen, and find out where our patient is coming from. Some patients may already be Christians, and may wish to pray. Other patients might be agnostic, but might realise the increasing urgency to meet God, to find out if He exists or not. Yet others might come from a radically different background, and who knows, they may even try to preach to the doctor! Either way, it is safe to discuss faith issues if the patient brings up the issue in the first place - because their raising the issue is a sure sign that they are comfortable with talking about it, in some form at least.

I think it's worthwhile mentioning that there are chaplains and priests in many hospitals, whose services can be enlisted. Additionally, we can refer patients to a church, should they enquire or seem interested. It is too much for a doctor to pick up the task of pastorally shepherding a patient in the long term - ultimately, linking them with a welcoming church community is the best way to ensure their spiritual needs are met.

Anyway, I think it's time for me to sleep, and prepare myself to embark on what promises to be yet another busy week! God bless!

Continuation...

I decided to post a continuation of the puzzle from before. This one doesn't require that you know the answer to the previous puzzle - I guess I just extended the story (honestly, though, I have no idea where the story is headed!). Puzzle writing is fun, I think. Anyway, have a go. This one's a bit more difficult than the previous one.

Sans Script

You awaken in the professor's house, groggy and tired after your ordeal the previous day.

You remember escaping from the cold, dark maze, then emerging into the blinding light of day - what was left of it, anyhow. It was late, and the sun began to set spectacularly after that. You arranged a rendezvous with your rescuer, who had helped you through a remote computer terminal. He introduced himself as a professor, one of a team unlocking the mysteries of the subterranean labyrinth in which you had been trapped. People appeared inside at various locations without warning, trapped by some sort of teleport mechanism. Some escaped, some didn't. You take some comfort in the fact that you are not alone in this - but feel sorry that some did not make it out alive. The professor took you in for the night, tending to your most immediate need - rest.

This morning, however, you see no sign of him. Evidently, he had left earlier in a rush, with a flurry of upturned papers strewn over the floor of the kitchen. All sorts of bits of paper haphazardly adorned the floor - article cutouts from Nature, Science, JAMA and many others. A hand-written note left on the table was barely legible. "Find me at the university in the relevant department". A sense of panic wells up inside of you as you realise that you hadn't been informed of what department that might be - indeed, you don't know what sort of professor he was. Your composure and sense of hope returns, however, as you examine the watermark behind the words.

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Night owl...

On night shift again. Tonight's almost been an absolute miracle that we now have some semblance of peace and order in the department! When I got here, it was crazy, manic - many patients in the waiting room, some waiting for more than four hours, and with all sorts of problems. Just another example of how there is a serious shortage of health professionals all around the country, especially in rural regions.

One of the patients sleeping here tonight is an example of one that this health system, despite all the good will in the hospital, probably cannot help. An elderly gentleman with chronic alcoholism, he was brought in by ambulance when the pub he frequents had missed him for four days! But then again, it seems he doesn't want to get better. It might just be his confusion - but there are a whole heap of other possible things. I just hope we can help him and find out, but even if we can in here, it's hard to see him turning from his old habits in the long term.

Anyhow, I'm glad to see that this department has turned from something closely resembling ER earlier on, to something now looking more like? well? sleepy heads and shut eyes anyway.

Nobody has yet answered my puzzle! Maybe they're all off doing the CISRA puzzle hunt! It will be nice to see someone solve it soon, though. Perhaps after CISRA, they'll come here and do the puzzle. Oh well. I'll drop another hint soon.

I have been thinking about Christians and the way they're represented in the world. It's sad to see some people close to me so against Christianity because some prominent Christians (notably the leaders of our country and of the US) are viewed so negatively, because of their role in the Iraq war, because of seeming arrogance and self-righteousness, and because of their relationship with the church. I think that politics is one area where churches should be very careful. Financial contributions, for example, to the Howard government by Hillsong church, comes across as a dangerous alliance crossing the traditional separation of church and state established centuries ago. It is clear that the two bodies share similar ideologies. Members of the government make frequent appearances on the Hillsong stage, and receive resounding applause. For the public, it appears that politicians are hijacking the faith bandwagon to build their support base.

Is this a dangerous thing per se? I think it can be. It is true that it is God who enables those in power to govern, and it is He who placed them in that position. However, to then claim that they are God's appointed (and therefore mandated) leaders is a false extension of this truth. On one hand, it is an extension. On another hand, though, it is the complete opposite - claiming a mandate to do whatever I want to do, is much different to fulfilling my duty to serve the country. The agenda should be one of service, and not powermongering. Certainly, a government should not seek simply to be re-elected, but should rather seek to genuinely serve the population that they govern. Not that the current government are alone in spending so much on their public profile, however. Christian politicians everywhere are declaring their faith in order to try and par with the government, showing themselves to be men and women after God. I don't think this is a bad thing - it is nice to know that there are Christians in politics. However, I don't think that this should be a real reason to vote for them. It is easy to say I'm a Christian - it's hard to behave as a model Christian. Indeed, it's impossible, with all of our human failings, to live up to the standards that Christ Himself set for us.

I hope that Christians in the public light increasingly recognise their situation. As real ambassadors for Christ, especially with their profile, Christian politicians should even more seek to serve the public genuinely, and display their servant heart. It is true servanthood that is the hallmark of the true Christian.

Puzzle time...

This one's for those who are suffering Puzzle Hunt withdrawal symptoms. It's just a puzzle I came up with one day, I can't remember how - but give it a go. Please post answer guesses in comments if you feel like, or else email me (so others can have a go)! I'll put hints in the comments area - if it seems like nobody's really getting the answer in a few days' time.

Anyway, here's the puzzle! Good luck! (Oh, and Happy Easter too - thank God for the Cross of Christ, that we may live!)

Flicker of Hope

You wander around the deserted complex, looking for a way out. The maze seems like a hopeless quest - each time you peer around the corner, your eyes stare deeply into an even longer corridor with numerous branches each way, illuminated only faintly with the dim, flickering yellow of well-worn ceiling lights.

Hours later, still wandering and ever more dejected, it is your ears, not your eyes, that finally give you some semblance of hope! A ticking noise emanates from a nondescript room several doors down, and you pick up your step in anticipation. Entering the room, however, there is not a living soul in sight. Several monitors flicker, most of them blankly, in what appears to have once been a crowded control room of some sort. The ticking noise comes through a speaker in the corner - at first you think it might just be static, but the eerie regularity of some of the blurts and blips that break through the noise makes you think there's more to it than randomness.

Next to the speaker, there is a monitor, less blank than the rest of them. Strange fractions scan rapidly across the screen in a repeated fashion. What could it mean? You grab a piece of paper and pen from your bag and jot down the fractions:

2/4 7/8 4/16 0/4 2/16 0/2 0/16 1/4 4/8 0/4 2/4 7/8 2/8 10/16 0/16 1/4 2/4 10/16 0/2 1/2 7/8 0/8 0/4 2/4

0/4 3/8 2/4 0/8 1/2 0/16 0/2 5/8 0/4 2/4 6/8 0/8 1/2 3/8 0/4 2/4 4/16 0/2 0/8 0/8 1/2 3/8 0/4 2/4

A-Team...

Working in the ED again since yesterday, I've been sicker than some of the patients that have come through our doors! It's only a matter of time before this cough clears up, and the worst of it's over now. Either way, I'm happy to be working, as it seems to distract my mind from my cough and sickness (ironic, eh?) - and the moment I stop doing things, the cough starts up again. Oh well. That's life.

Anyhow, just killing time at the moment, end of my shift - and we've cleared the rooms pretty well! Not patients going "kaput!" if that's the idea you're getting - no, patients getting better and going home, by and large. This is the ED doctor's idea of nirvana, or as close as it gets in some ways. Some like it busy, but this - the sound of silence - can't be beaten, honestly! Given how busy it was at the start of the shift, it seems miraculous. Go A-Team!

Just recently, I bought a book by Philip Yancey called "Prayer: Does it make any difference?", a commentary on prayer and its role in our lives. I have found it very helpful, even from the outset. It begins by detailing some extraordinary statistics - 90% of Americans in a certain news-media survey claim to pray on a regular basis, with about a third praying at least daily. Some renowned historical prayer warriors, such as Martin Luther, used to spend up to four or five hours regularly, daily, on their knees, rising early to open the day with communion with the Creator. Other faiths, such as Islam, also perpetuate the idea of prayer as an essential way to commune with God, so important that they stop what they do in order to pray five times per day.

I admit, though, that I am not a model prayer warrior by any means. Daily prayer, yes. But, like most people, I spend barely 10 or 15 minutes in prayer, relating to God (our Creator, the most important relationship in my life) my honest thoughts and pleas, my praise for him and so on. And a lot of the time, I'm so tired when I pray, that my prayers come out a jumble of muddled up thoughts with no structure, little focus and concentration. I have thoughts like, if God knows everything, then why do we have to present our requests to him anyway?

I guess, first and foremost, we have to look at prayer in a different light - it is our direct means of communication and relationship with God. It is for our benefit, that God's presence might be felt, his blessing come down, as a stream rolls steadily down the mountainside. We are so privileged to be able to bathe in this stream - one that is accessible at any time, under any circumstance. Amazing, eh? It is more than just requests - after all, God does know our requests before we ask (although he loves to hear from his children, and answers our prayers as a father to his child) - it is our communion with God. What greater delight have we than to bask in the presence of God's glory?

Then, why do we spend so little time in prayer? Is communion with God not more important than pretty much anything else? Why do we lose perspective? Our perspectives tend to be guided away, in this day and age, by the immediate concerns of this world. Working hard in the ED here, I barely get time to think about anything else but my patients. Taking a moment to breathe (or cough) is a rare thing! And it's not just this kind of work, either. It is a problem everywhere - so much so that Thomas Merton, when asked to name the single greatest spiritual disease of our time, answered, "efficiency". Idle time is frowned on, we should always be working! That's why it's so remarkable to have this time now to write this blog. And think about God, and pray. Our perspectives get skewed. When we step back, and have a look at everything properly, we realise that the concerns of this moment are hardly a speck in the woods. In the moment, however, they are all the world to us.

What we need is to remind ourselves, every day, of this perspective problem. Take a step back, and look at your life from start to finish. Go outside, look at the sky and the stars. Go to the beach, watch the waves roll in - no matter what we do, these things never change. God is in control.

I hope that we can take this step back in the midst of our busy lives, and remember what really matters!